Graduate / Photographic preservation graduate school 500word essay [5]

Hello everyone,
i need some help with my graduation entrance essay...i'm applying for photographic preservation program and this is what i have so far...
Any advice or corrections are welcome PLEASEeeee!

I have honed a critical eye for details and became motivated to gain the ability of art appreciation, in the quest to achieve my BA degree in Communications. It was during Professor X's Image & Communication class, in my sophomore year, when he showed us the slide show of 9/11 photos, that I first actually realized what a highly visual world we live in. Later, I followed a sequence of Communication courses where I learned how to apply theories to practical applications, such as interpreting images in magazine ads and commercials. Towards my final year of studies I became more interested in the media aspect of communication and thus, spent a year immersed in video production courses.

For a duration of five months, I was part of a team that pitched, shot, and edited a 10 minute promo-documentary, in which we were lucky enough to sponsor the X Group's cross-country fund raising project. While using different lighting skills for various interview scenes, I became more interested in cinematography, which is really only an extension of photography. This year of video class provided me with a well-rounded knowledge base, from actual film making to the business aspect of production, and everything in between. I think film making is similar to the work of a researcher, as it demands one to be detail-oriented and determined.

During my final year of university, I took a semester-long student exchange program, in Europe, where I had the chance to visit the world's most renowned art institutions holding the greatest works of art. This experience has given my eyes the qualities of an art dealer, and the heart of an artist. I love to do creative work, which has led me to pursue my film career and to volunteer at festivals as usher, box office and program organizer.

Working as an education intern at the world famous Film Festival in London, for one month following graduation, I took the opportunity to watch over 30 films at one of Europe's most famous art facilities - X London. Having extensive interest in cinematography, I've always paid extra attention to visual effects used in cinema, not to mention the context in which images are interpreted. For me, cinematography is like photography, a window into the artist's soul, in which one communicates to its spectators through images. Working as a sound operator for X's documentary, X, I, once again, had the chance to observe, up-close, the work of China's five most famous film directors, including X, who is most famous for using extreme graphics in his award-winning films.

With passion and determination, I feel that I'm ready to enter the renowned class of Photographic Preservation & Management, at X university. My primary aspiration in life is to become a curator at a world famous art institution, such as the British Museum or The Metropolitan Museum of Art, in New York. Achieving a master's degree in Photographic Preservation & Collections Management from X university will be a major step toward this goal in life. Aside from having an excellent art school, with its one-of-a-kind program in photographic preservation, the institution has produced many curators and archivists, now working in the field. This falls right in line with my goal.