Undergraduate / I've been shy for as long as I can remember. [4]

fighting my shyness

It's interesting how we tend to hide ourselves in the face of other people. When I was ten years old, I hid in my grandfather's closet because I was too shy to face the guests who were visiting. I feared having to talk to them and I feared the cheek pinching. It was only after when the guests have left, I would return to my normal self.

I've been shy for as long as I can remember. In elementary school, I only spoke when I was asked to. I had a hard time making new friends because I rarely ever started conversations with the nice kids and I never stood up to the school bully. I signed up for afterschool activities which my parents told me were a great way to make new friends. But a kid shy as I was could fade into the background, unnoticed. Up until the 8th grade, no one saw me as me: A kid who was very caring, organized, and loved playing sports. I was angry, and I was tired. Being shy was mentally and physically exhausting, and I was finally sick of it. All I wanted was to fit in better.

When I entered high school, I decided to work on becoming more outgoing. I wanted people to see beyond just "the quiet boy." Every day I tried my new attitude by smiling and saying "hi" to other students. During my freshmen year, I finally build up enough confidence to join the football team. At first, my behavior did not change. Occasionally, I would forget the plays the coach had called and was too shy to ask my teammates for help. But, I continued to work on my new attitude and tried to overcome my shyness because I didn't tolerate failure. Halfway through the season, the coaches named me a starter on the defense. They told me they liked my leadership and work ethic. I remember this event because it was the first major step in conquering my shyness.

Since then, I've had many other moments where I overcame my timidity. From my freshmen year on, I started taking my own initiatives. I gained the confidence to go out and do things for myself. I joined the Spanish and Asian club because of my curiosity for a new culture. I also volunteered at Green Acres Foundation where I help protect water resources by collecting and transporting water samples to a Greenacres River Lab. Through this community project, I learned a lot about water resource issues. This change of attitude benefited me not only for my school career, but also from the first impressions I make on new friends. I realized the excitement of making new things happen. As my eyes were opened to the benefits of my new attitude, I gained self confidence and an ambition that has defined who I am.

I'll admit that being constantly outgoing isn't who I am. There are some instances where I don't feel like being talkative. I will never show off or be impolite. Who I was never changed. But the difference is that now I can show something more sincere to the world, because shyness no longer controls me. My personality and character won't fit inside the confines of shyness. Nor will they fit inside a closet.