Undergraduate / This is my escape; SOP UTexas at Austin Radio/TV/Film [12]

Thank you I appreciate your help.

Undergraduate / This is my escape; SOP UTexas at Austin Radio/TV/Film [12]

Okay Kevin, I have completely changed my statement of Purpose to UT Austin. I recently visited the school and gain some new inspiration and a new direction. what do you think?

Thanks Michele

Statement of Purpose
"The truth was I had been a filmmaker ever since the day I had closed my eyes and pictured myself making movies. The rest was inevitable. So you don't want to be a filmmaker, you are a filmmaker. Go make yourself a business card." -Robert Rodriguez

These words by my biggest inspiration are the reason why I want to attend the University of Texas at Austin. I am a filmmaker. My creativity and skills have helped me attain an assistant videographer position with a local wedding photographer here in San Antonio, however my goals in film stretch far beyond the pews of churches and reception halls and the limited capability of my MAC editing system. I want to create movies. I want to add to the rich and eccentric culture of Austin. I want to join the legacy that is the University of Texas. When the time came to decide what school I wanted to earn my degree there were no long comparisons of school academics and locality or even money. There was only one answer for me. The only degree I have ever wanted to pursue: a degree in Film. Ever since I was a child and I experience the magic of cinema. Lost in that beautiful world up on the big screen my goal has never wavered. I have dreamed of nothing but U.T. for the last 10 years. As soon as I crossed that high school graduation stage I was immediately focused on my journey ahead to the school of my dreams.

My goal is to achieve the best possible education in order to succeed in the world of film. My film career goals in the simplest terms, is to be one of the top female directors in cinema history. I wish to create a legacy of excellence. The University of Texas and the school of Communication will provide me the education to achieve these goals. I recently toured the campus, and as I walked through the halls and looked up at the massive tower I knew I was exactly where I belonged. I am determined and focused. My love and passion for film will only thrive at U.T. I can discover my full potential through the unparallel standards that UT demands. I know that I can reach my utmost potential because the University of Texas and mainly the College of Communication has produced films and directors who attest to the excellence of their education. With your acceptance I plan to be a part of that list of distinguished names, so that one day someone will be inspired by one of my films and the legacy will continue.

Undergraduate / This is my escape; SOP UTexas at Austin Radio/TV/Film [12]

Thanks Kevin,
your comments were very helpful. I understand that criticism is necessary I was merely stating that just saying "this is boring" wasn't helpful. Your elaboration was much more helpful. This was my first attempt and I wasnt really sure how to begin. I always feel that the hardest part is just to start an essay so that you can build on to it or tear it apart afterwards. Thanks again for your insights and yeah I think I understand more about what should be included. I'll revise this and submit it for your critique.

Thanks,
Michele

Undergraduate / This is my escape; SOP UTexas at Austin Radio/TV/Film [12]

Thank you this was very helpful I will try to work on your suggestions and appreciate your help :)

Undergraduate / This is my escape; SOP UTexas at Austin Radio/TV/Film [12]

Actually, I take that back I just want someone else to give me their CONSTRUCTIVE critique on this one not just blunt statements that are not really helpful. Please someone else let me know what you think. Thanks

Undergraduate / This is my escape; SOP UTexas at Austin Radio/TV/Film [12]

Wow, well I guess I will just start over. thanks.