freestyler105
Sep 14, 2010
Research Papers / Narrative on Drake's Raid on Nombre de Dios - Feedback [2]
This is the third revision of a narrative paper I am doing for a history class. The final paper is due Thursday. I am just looking for some general ideas to improve my writing. In particular, my professor is very focused on good transitions, so any comments in that area would help a lot. Any constructive comments would be greatly appreciated though. Thanks.
In early 1573, Spanish officials, fearing an attack from the sea, ordered increased defenses for the harbor at Nombre de Dios. Nombre de Dios was an important port for the Spanish, facilitating the transportation of goods and people between the Americas and Spain. Around April every year, the winds were such that ships in Nombre de Dios would be able to sail back to Spain, so gold and silver would be transported at this time. The Spanish ships laden with gold near Nombre de Dios made attractive targets for outlaws and unfriendly nations, causing the Spanish to desire more defenses. Diego Calderon was the captain-general of the city at that time. He ordered strengthened defenses in numerous ways because of English ships being spotted in the ocean near Nombre de Dios. Calderon had the coastline of the ocean fortified with trenches and earthworks all along the shore. One hundred men under the command of Captain Hernando de Berrio were garrisoned within the city limits. An armada of two frigates and shallops captained by Francisco Ramirez de Guzman with an additional one hundred men patrolled the coast near Nombre de Dios. In addition, seven or eight pieces of artillery were mended into good condition and brought into the city fort. Diego Calderon was very well prepared to defend an attack by sea.
Meanwhile, the pirate Francis Drake was preparing for an attack on land. He left for the attack with seventy three men, two ships, and three smaller boats called pinnaces. By the time Drake and his company arrived near Nombre de Dios, he only had thirty one men left. Before landing, at Cativas, Drake's crew spotted another ship off the coast. Contact was made after ascertaining that the ship was not Spanish, and Drake found out that they were Frenchmen commanded by Captain Guillaume le Testu. Testu and his men were out of water, only having alcoholic beverages left to drink. Drake gave him enough water to last until they could anchor and restock. This led to Drake and Testu allying for the attack since Drake had lost so many men. The two decided that Testu would take twenty of his men and Drake would take fifteen of his own men plus his cimarrones , then both crews and the cimarrones would split the rewards. Both captains left their ships in a safe anchorage and took the frigate until it could not continue in the shallower waters. The frigate was left with Robert Doble in charge and with both English and French men who were given orders not to pursue any other ships until the captains returned. The rest of the men then continued on the two pinnaces with Drake and Testu. The crew went ashore at Rio Francisco, leaving the pinnaces with some of their men with orders to return in four days to pick up the men going onto land. The remaining men then marched seven leagues until they came within a mile of the road where the attack would occur. They camped out at this point overnight, waiting for signs of the train that would be attacked.
The next morning, April 1, 1573, Drake and his company heard the jingle of the silver bells of mules approaching. It was the mule train they were going to attack. This occurred approximately two leagues from Nombre de Dios. The train in its entirety was guarded by forty five Spanish soldiers. Drake and Testu's forces attacked them, and during the fighting Captain Testu was shot in the chest and a cimmaron was killed. Before long the Spanish guards decided to flee and seek help from Nombre de Dios. Drake and the other attackers spent about two hours stealing as much silver and gold as they could. They then buried about fifteen additional tons of silver. Upon hearing the Spanish coming back to the place of the attack, Drake started marching his forces back to Rio Francisco. Testu was left behind because he was too weak to continue.
On hearing news of the attack, Calderon ordered a summons stating that all inhabitants of Nombre de Dios must come help recover the stolen gold and silver or face penalty of death. Calderon also asked General Diego Flores de Valdes to send out all of his pinnaces to patrol the river mouths to try to block the exit of the enemies. Calderon then proceeded with a force of about thirty men into the wild, and they discovered the train in disarray, with broken boxes everywhere. They killed the French captain Testu, other corsairs, and two cimarrones. Captain Testu was decapitated and about 100,000 pesos worth of treasure was recovered, 6,300 pesos of which belonged to Spanish royalty. The remainder of the culprits were pursued, but only one was captured - a Frenchman named Jacques Laurens. The Spanish caught him because he had drunk too much wine and tried to carry too much gold. As it got darker and darker, the weather worsened and it eventually became impossible for Testu and his men to continue to pursue the rest of the French and English. Lastly, fifty men under the command of Captain Antonia Suarez were sent out for the next three days to intercept the corsairs before they could make it back to their ships, but they were unsuccessful.
After the attack, Drake and his remaining men were stranded trying to get back to their ships. It took them two days to make it to Rio Francisco. By then the English pinnaces were supposed to come back to meet Drake and the crew on land at Rio Francisco, but the boats never came. The men were nervous that the Spanish had captured the English pinnaces because they could see the Spanish pinnaces still guarding the area. Drake then devised a resourceful plan to get back. He and his men built a raft to go look for the pinnaces. Drake, a man named John Smith, two Frenchmen, and a few cimmarones went on this raft. They travelled three leagues, enduring the sun and salt water for six hours until catching sight of the two pinnaces. The rafters and the men who were already on the pinnaces took the pinnaces back to Rio Francisco and picked up the men who were still on land. The men then went back to the frigate, and finally took the frigate back to the ships. After returning to the ships, the French and the English divided up the treasure amongst themselves. The date was now April 5th. The French and English then parted ways. About two weeks later, Drake made a secret agreement with the cimarrones that twelve English and sixteen cimarrones would go back and try to recover any remaining treasure and Captain Testu. John Oxemham and Thomas Sherwell were put in charge of this mission. Drake went to Rio Francisco with them, but did not go back onto land. The men who went back ashore soon encountered one of the Frenchmen who had been captured but escaped. The Frenchman told Drake's men what had become of Testu and Jacques Laurens and that the Spanish had recovered most of the buried treasure. However they still went back and did find thirteen bars of silver and a few quiots of gold.
Jacques Laurens went to trial and was put to death, but not before he was interrogated by the Spanish. The Spanish learned from this interrogation that the English and the cimarrones had been working together closely. Eventually, about 100,000 pesos of the remaining gold was recovered, but it was still a huge loss for the Spanish. The attack also resulted in the officials of Nombre de Dios calling for more help in security from Spain. The officials wrote the Crown asking for galleys to be stationed on the coast as added safekeeping. Drake was still in the area, raiding ships for supplies for about another week after he had gone on land for the second time. It was all nonviolent so long as there was no resistance from the ships he pirated. Drake also allowed the cimarrones to go through his ships and pick out things they would like to bring home. He left to go back to England after that additional week at sea, and that was the end of the raid on Panama.
This is the third revision of a narrative paper I am doing for a history class. The final paper is due Thursday. I am just looking for some general ideas to improve my writing. In particular, my professor is very focused on good transitions, so any comments in that area would help a lot. Any constructive comments would be greatly appreciated though. Thanks.
In early 1573, Spanish officials, fearing an attack from the sea, ordered increased defenses for the harbor at Nombre de Dios. Nombre de Dios was an important port for the Spanish, facilitating the transportation of goods and people between the Americas and Spain. Around April every year, the winds were such that ships in Nombre de Dios would be able to sail back to Spain, so gold and silver would be transported at this time. The Spanish ships laden with gold near Nombre de Dios made attractive targets for outlaws and unfriendly nations, causing the Spanish to desire more defenses. Diego Calderon was the captain-general of the city at that time. He ordered strengthened defenses in numerous ways because of English ships being spotted in the ocean near Nombre de Dios. Calderon had the coastline of the ocean fortified with trenches and earthworks all along the shore. One hundred men under the command of Captain Hernando de Berrio were garrisoned within the city limits. An armada of two frigates and shallops captained by Francisco Ramirez de Guzman with an additional one hundred men patrolled the coast near Nombre de Dios. In addition, seven or eight pieces of artillery were mended into good condition and brought into the city fort. Diego Calderon was very well prepared to defend an attack by sea.
Meanwhile, the pirate Francis Drake was preparing for an attack on land. He left for the attack with seventy three men, two ships, and three smaller boats called pinnaces. By the time Drake and his company arrived near Nombre de Dios, he only had thirty one men left. Before landing, at Cativas, Drake's crew spotted another ship off the coast. Contact was made after ascertaining that the ship was not Spanish, and Drake found out that they were Frenchmen commanded by Captain Guillaume le Testu. Testu and his men were out of water, only having alcoholic beverages left to drink. Drake gave him enough water to last until they could anchor and restock. This led to Drake and Testu allying for the attack since Drake had lost so many men. The two decided that Testu would take twenty of his men and Drake would take fifteen of his own men plus his cimarrones , then both crews and the cimarrones would split the rewards. Both captains left their ships in a safe anchorage and took the frigate until it could not continue in the shallower waters. The frigate was left with Robert Doble in charge and with both English and French men who were given orders not to pursue any other ships until the captains returned. The rest of the men then continued on the two pinnaces with Drake and Testu. The crew went ashore at Rio Francisco, leaving the pinnaces with some of their men with orders to return in four days to pick up the men going onto land. The remaining men then marched seven leagues until they came within a mile of the road where the attack would occur. They camped out at this point overnight, waiting for signs of the train that would be attacked.
The next morning, April 1, 1573, Drake and his company heard the jingle of the silver bells of mules approaching. It was the mule train they were going to attack. This occurred approximately two leagues from Nombre de Dios. The train in its entirety was guarded by forty five Spanish soldiers. Drake and Testu's forces attacked them, and during the fighting Captain Testu was shot in the chest and a cimmaron was killed. Before long the Spanish guards decided to flee and seek help from Nombre de Dios. Drake and the other attackers spent about two hours stealing as much silver and gold as they could. They then buried about fifteen additional tons of silver. Upon hearing the Spanish coming back to the place of the attack, Drake started marching his forces back to Rio Francisco. Testu was left behind because he was too weak to continue.
On hearing news of the attack, Calderon ordered a summons stating that all inhabitants of Nombre de Dios must come help recover the stolen gold and silver or face penalty of death. Calderon also asked General Diego Flores de Valdes to send out all of his pinnaces to patrol the river mouths to try to block the exit of the enemies. Calderon then proceeded with a force of about thirty men into the wild, and they discovered the train in disarray, with broken boxes everywhere. They killed the French captain Testu, other corsairs, and two cimarrones. Captain Testu was decapitated and about 100,000 pesos worth of treasure was recovered, 6,300 pesos of which belonged to Spanish royalty. The remainder of the culprits were pursued, but only one was captured - a Frenchman named Jacques Laurens. The Spanish caught him because he had drunk too much wine and tried to carry too much gold. As it got darker and darker, the weather worsened and it eventually became impossible for Testu and his men to continue to pursue the rest of the French and English. Lastly, fifty men under the command of Captain Antonia Suarez were sent out for the next three days to intercept the corsairs before they could make it back to their ships, but they were unsuccessful.
After the attack, Drake and his remaining men were stranded trying to get back to their ships. It took them two days to make it to Rio Francisco. By then the English pinnaces were supposed to come back to meet Drake and the crew on land at Rio Francisco, but the boats never came. The men were nervous that the Spanish had captured the English pinnaces because they could see the Spanish pinnaces still guarding the area. Drake then devised a resourceful plan to get back. He and his men built a raft to go look for the pinnaces. Drake, a man named John Smith, two Frenchmen, and a few cimmarones went on this raft. They travelled three leagues, enduring the sun and salt water for six hours until catching sight of the two pinnaces. The rafters and the men who were already on the pinnaces took the pinnaces back to Rio Francisco and picked up the men who were still on land. The men then went back to the frigate, and finally took the frigate back to the ships. After returning to the ships, the French and the English divided up the treasure amongst themselves. The date was now April 5th. The French and English then parted ways. About two weeks later, Drake made a secret agreement with the cimarrones that twelve English and sixteen cimarrones would go back and try to recover any remaining treasure and Captain Testu. John Oxemham and Thomas Sherwell were put in charge of this mission. Drake went to Rio Francisco with them, but did not go back onto land. The men who went back ashore soon encountered one of the Frenchmen who had been captured but escaped. The Frenchman told Drake's men what had become of Testu and Jacques Laurens and that the Spanish had recovered most of the buried treasure. However they still went back and did find thirteen bars of silver and a few quiots of gold.
Jacques Laurens went to trial and was put to death, but not before he was interrogated by the Spanish. The Spanish learned from this interrogation that the English and the cimarrones had been working together closely. Eventually, about 100,000 pesos of the remaining gold was recovered, but it was still a huge loss for the Spanish. The attack also resulted in the officials of Nombre de Dios calling for more help in security from Spain. The officials wrote the Crown asking for galleys to be stationed on the coast as added safekeeping. Drake was still in the area, raiding ships for supplies for about another week after he had gone on land for the second time. It was all nonviolent so long as there was no resistance from the ships he pirated. Drake also allowed the cimarrones to go through his ships and pick out things they would like to bring home. He left to go back to England after that additional week at sea, and that was the end of the raid on Panama.