Undergraduate / UNC Essay - How I Express My Inner World [7]

Hi, this is my first essay and I was hoping I could get some feedback.

Thanks, Addison

UNC Essay Prompt

1. People find many ways to express their inner world. Some write novels; others paint, perform, or debate; still others design elegant solutions to complex mathematical problems. How do you express your inner world, and how does the world around you respond?

Pacing behind the wings, lyrics, lines, and choreography flooded my head. I could hear the prologue booming from the orchestra pit; my cue was drawing nearer. My time had come. The next hour would be my chance to express "me", my inner world. This world of mine is wrapped in beauty and bound in mystery. Few can understand it, but all can access it. All they have to do is buy a ticket, grab some popcorn, and find their seat, because I pour my soul onto the stage. As my voice and lyrics intertwine, one can hear my values. As I act and play throughout the stage, one can see my humor. And as I dance with careless freedom, one can feel my passion. As bows are given and the curtain is drawn, the world outside mine responds with a graceful cheer. My hour is up. All I can hope for is that they were entertained, that they could see what I see every day- the beauty, the mystery. As the great playwright William Shakespeare once said, "All the world's a stage." In my case however, my world is the stage. So come take a peek; come visit this inner world of mine. I promise only what I stand for as the lights dim and the music begins and I become transparent.