spacemannate
Sep 16, 2010
Undergraduate / "my brother made an intelligent choice" - Penn State personal statement [5]
Here is my first draft for the personal statement of the Penn State application. Criticize please, I personally feel its a bit bland, and that another approach would work better.
Nine years ago I first set foot in University Park, Pennsylvania, and gazed upon the awe-inspiring magnitude of The Pennsylvania State University. At eight years old, other things could have concerned me more than taking the six hour drive from Connecticut to visit my eighteen year old brother at his new home. Little did I know that in 9 years time, I myself, like my brother, would look to Penn State as my primary choice to further my education.
...
Here is my first draft for the personal statement of the Penn State application. Criticize please, I personally feel its a bit bland, and that another approach would work better.
Nine years ago I first set foot in University Park, Pennsylvania, and gazed upon the awe-inspiring magnitude of The Pennsylvania State University. At eight years old, other things could have concerned me more than taking the six hour drive from Connecticut to visit my eighteen year old brother at his new home. Little did I know that in 9 years time, I myself, like my brother, would look to Penn State as my primary choice to further my education.
...
