Undergraduate / Diversity, Psychology, Experience - "Why Ohio State University?" [2]

Ohio State is my first choice and I really wanna get it, badly! Please check for any errors of any sort and also you may give advice as to ways in which i can improve the essay. All help is accepted.This is my first draft so any changes or suggestions are welcomed! Please and Thank You in advance.

Prompt: Why are you interested in Ohio State University? Maxium 300 words-- i have 460.

Di-ver-si-ty -noun, plural -ties. The state or fact of being diverse; difference; unlikeness.
Coming from a very close knit family, I've always long for independence and I always fantasized that going away to college would bring me that independence I always longed for. Walking on the busy campus roads, I felt a sense of belonging and also a hint of independence though I walked in the midst of hundreds of diverse kinds of students. Formerly living in Bronx, New York blinded my eyes to diversity. Though New York City is known for their diverse population, the neighborhood I lived in seemed to have a lack of that. Most of the population in the Bronx is Puerto Rican, Dominican, Jamaican, or African/ African American. After moving to Ohio, with high expectations of living in a more diverse community, yet I was still disappointed. Stepping onto the campus of Ohio State gave my keen eyes what they were looking for. Automatically, I felt a sense of belonging, confidence, and independence that I'd been searching for all 4yrs of my high school career.

Psy-chol-o-gy -noun, plural -gies. The science of the mind or of mental states and processes. Since I could remember I was intrigued by the human mind. By the "what-if's" and the "why not's" of the human behavior. I always found a personal satisfaction in solving mental problems, and not math problems. By my sophomore year of high school, I was done aspiring to be things I saw in the movies, and found a great interest in psychology. I grew ecstatic when I came to find out that a psychology class was offered in my junior year and which high expectations, I took the class. Now here I am in my senior year of high school, ready to establish myself and my life in the field of psychology in hopes of branching out someday. Fortunately for me, Ohio State isn't only a school of high prestige, but it also offers challenging programs for undergraduates psychology majors.

Ex-pe-ri-ence- noun, verb -enced, -enc-ing. A particular instance of personally encountering or undergoing something. For me, Ohio State University offers me the opportunity to embrace the college experience without having to go too far from home. It offers the experience of being independent, and also the experience of learning about myself and my comfort zones. I believe that attending Ohio State University will help me gain an upper hand in whichever career path I eventually decide to take. So "Why Ohio State University?" you might ask? Well because Ohio State fits and exceeds all that I am looking for in a 4 year college and I sincerely believe that Ohio States great prestige and teaching staff, will help my future be a whole lot brighter.

Undergraduate / "Yes, I will move"- significant experience, achievement, risk you've taken (OU Essay) [5]

Please give me suggestions and revisions. They will be greatly appreciated! :)

"Yes, I will move"

"Yes, I'll move" I told my mother when she decided to move from the Bronx and I, naïve as ever could be decided to follow her. She had received her last, but not first beating from my dad and at this point I figured she was done. She wanted to leave, And she wanted to take me with her. It was a sunny summer afternoon, but not too summery because school was still very much in session. I came home from school ready to nap, because I was drained from the events that took place the night before. My mother had another agenda. Once I walked in the house, I noticed she seemed very busy and she was anxiously looking around, as if she was gathering something. "Where are you going ma?" I asked, with my tiny little 6th grade backpack still on my back. "I'm leaving" she said with a tone that was strangely casual. I continued to ask. "But where are you going?" She stopped scavenging around and looked at me. "To Ohio, Do you wanna come?" I stood back for a second, thinking about what exactly I was consenting to. I finally agreed after a few moments of staring at my shoes and thinking about what ifs. "Yes, I will move". We packed all the things we'd ever had and before I could rethink, we left New York, the city of lights. My mom left the Bronx, not only to protect her self, but also in hopes of giving me and my younger sister a better life. Without a doubt, living in a very under privileged neighborhood, and having peers who were more than 5 years older than me changed who I was as an adolescent. I grew up wanting to do things a typical 11 or 12 year old child knew nothing about. My mom was definitely right. Though I didn't want to leave all I'd ever known and the friends I thought would be life long, I made a decision to leave; one that I haven't regretted till this day. Moving to Ohio ultimately became the thing that shifted my lifestyle. It broadened the way I thought, and actually even changed the way I conducted my self in certain situations. Nevertheless, I can truly say that making the move to Ohio positively impacted my family and me.