kurriboh
Sep 29, 2010
Undergraduate / UC Prompt1: "The Greatest Lesson Learned: Determination" [3]
University of California Prompt 1: (Freshmen)
Prompt #1 Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Hi everyone. Nice to meet all of you, I'm Tim. Thank you for taking time to read this. You could probably guess that I am a senior applying to colleges. Please read my rough draft and peer edit(or butcher) it if you could. Please do not hold back. You would provide me with a lot of help. Thank you again.
~Tim
A small breeze of cool air drifts throughout the gym as an audience member opens a door. The cool air barely skims my skin before drifting off. The second of cool air felt like relief from death, as the air in the gym was hot and heavy. I look to my left and the scoreboard reads fourteen - twenty, my opponent just needed one more point to win. As I turn to my coach, he tells me, "Pain is only temporary. You win a medal, you keep it forever. Just fight it out to the end and never give up." As I walk back onto the badminton court, everything that I have trained for now comes into play. The crowd goes into silence as I prepare to serve. I serve short and my opponent quickly rushes the net. Immediate the bird flew straight down and I dove for the bird barely saving it. Again he tried to smash the bird from the net and again I dove for the bird barely saving it. He smashed the bird and I returned it as fast and as flat as I could. The bird flew to the left, then the right, and then again to the left. As the number of shots progressed, our focus began to fade and it becomes a fight for survival. I drew every last ounce of energy I had and rushed the net. In a quick double motion, I tricked my opponent and won the point. After twelve grueling rallies, I won the game at twenty four to twenty two.
When I walked off the court I felt close to passing out, but at the same time I felt proud and amazed to have made a comeback and won. Though it is a cliché, this experience has truly taught me to always remain determined to the end and to never hold back. I went through middle school and part of high school as an average 3.5gpa student, I never believed I was anything more. It was after that experience in my junior year, that had completely changed my outlook on life. Throughout my first semester, I stayed determined, but in the end I still attained my average though it was bit higher. This failure gave me more motivation instead and truly made me push forward. In my second semester of junior year, I failed a couple of tests here and there, but in the end I achieved nearly perfect grades.
Life is going to become harder and harder. More obstacles will come my way. However, when these obstacles come and worst comes to worst, I believe I will be ready to push through it with everything and stay determined.
University of California Prompt 1: (Freshmen)
Prompt #1 Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Hi everyone. Nice to meet all of you, I'm Tim. Thank you for taking time to read this. You could probably guess that I am a senior applying to colleges. Please read my rough draft and peer edit(or butcher) it if you could. Please do not hold back. You would provide me with a lot of help. Thank you again.
~Tim
A small breeze of cool air drifts throughout the gym as an audience member opens a door. The cool air barely skims my skin before drifting off. The second of cool air felt like relief from death, as the air in the gym was hot and heavy. I look to my left and the scoreboard reads fourteen - twenty, my opponent just needed one more point to win. As I turn to my coach, he tells me, "Pain is only temporary. You win a medal, you keep it forever. Just fight it out to the end and never give up." As I walk back onto the badminton court, everything that I have trained for now comes into play. The crowd goes into silence as I prepare to serve. I serve short and my opponent quickly rushes the net. Immediate the bird flew straight down and I dove for the bird barely saving it. Again he tried to smash the bird from the net and again I dove for the bird barely saving it. He smashed the bird and I returned it as fast and as flat as I could. The bird flew to the left, then the right, and then again to the left. As the number of shots progressed, our focus began to fade and it becomes a fight for survival. I drew every last ounce of energy I had and rushed the net. In a quick double motion, I tricked my opponent and won the point. After twelve grueling rallies, I won the game at twenty four to twenty two.
When I walked off the court I felt close to passing out, but at the same time I felt proud and amazed to have made a comeback and won. Though it is a cliché, this experience has truly taught me to always remain determined to the end and to never hold back. I went through middle school and part of high school as an average 3.5gpa student, I never believed I was anything more. It was after that experience in my junior year, that had completely changed my outlook on life. Throughout my first semester, I stayed determined, but in the end I still attained my average though it was bit higher. This failure gave me more motivation instead and truly made me push forward. In my second semester of junior year, I failed a couple of tests here and there, but in the end I achieved nearly perfect grades.
Life is going to become harder and harder. More obstacles will come my way. However, when these obstacles come and worst comes to worst, I believe I will be ready to push through it with everything and stay determined.
