Undergraduate / FSU prompt-essay about Grandmother and how I grew from that experience-feedback? [4]

Hello to all EssayForum members! My essay is posted below for Florida State University and I was just wondering two things about it. 1) Is It Relevant? Is it good? What needs to be edited? 2) Is is too personal for the prompt FSU has posted? Personally, I think it sucks and lacks the clarity that I wanted it to have, but maybe others have a different perspective on it? Thank you for all your help!!

Prompt: "For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life."

Many People live by personal philosophies but never understand the significance it has upon their lives. Day to Day, people use the values of "Vires, Artes, and Mores" as a basic guideline on how to grow from personal experience. For me, Vires and Mores are expressed as values that opened my eyes to make me a stronger person morally and intellectually.

Since I was born, my grandmother had always been around taking care of me and my siblings when my parents had to go to work. She was there constantly fretting about all the minor things from a simple cold to a bruised finger. Nearing the age of 8, things began to change. My grandmother developed Alzheimer's and from there things began to turn around from the normality of my daily life.

Mores is signified within my life through the responsibilities I had to take over when my grandmother lost control. Being the youngest and home for a majority of the time, it was my responsibility to help my grandmother get dressed every morning and to make sure she ate before I left for school. These activities would seem easy for any normal person, but for a girl merely eight years old, I had to learn to be patient and firm. Things never got easy because this woman that had been taking care of me since I was born, I had to suddenly start taking care of. Mores reflects my character by taking this experience and learning that my actions and behaviors towards my Grandmother have shaped my characteristics. While some may consider a girl maturing at a young age to be a bad thing, I discovered how to be more responsible and caring towards others in their times of need. I have grown as a better person by learning, and experiencing, firsthand what it means to be a caring, considerate, and strong woman.

Vires, in my opinion, embodies the importance of what people consider strength within their lives. I can represent Vires as a significant model in my life by learning to worry about larger events in comparison to simple day to day drama. To me, Vires matters more on intellectual strength than it does morally or physically. Watching my Grandmother slowly dwindle from the affects of Alzheimer's, it taught me to be strong and to know that Life is too short to worry about the small incidents.

I believe I have become a stronger person from this experience and that Florida State University can add to my experiences for shaping my character. Furthermore, that I can offer a chance to use my personal growth as a starter to shape a brighter outlook for my future.