Undergraduate / Essay on my personal goal ( which is to be a doctor)- feedback [5]

Your essay is great, but it may need to be more specific. Tell us more about the boy, maybe a first name, to make it more personal. Otherwise, it seems like it's just a distant story. Also, I'm not sure if it's a surgeon coat or just a white coat lol.

Undergraduate / Is it okay to write an admission essay like a story? [7]

When I was writing my essay, I just used the story as context to set it up in the backdrop. But then you have to make sure to add how the story is actually important. Try linking it to your aspirations for a profession or how it helped you grow as a person.