howtowrite
Oct 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / Narrative essay about how was my feeling about getting money. [3]
hello I'm a person who don't know how to write narrative essay
It's a homework from my academy to write narrative essay. I searched many narrative essay thing, but I still don't know how to do :(
for this, I kinda exhausted right now but I have to finish this until tomorrow.
I asked to my teacher what's wrong with this essay, but he said just my essay is unorganized, have no dramatized scene, serious problem with tense of verbs etc.
in this essay, I want to write how was my feeling about getting money, and total mess, but now I'm fine. help me out plz!!
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I have some unique experience that nobody went through.
In 2009, my family, especially mom, and dad, started to run a bakery. //strange
At first, though we were tired, we thought 'It's going to be ok.' But over time, we got more exhausted and what made the matter worse, dad suddenly went back to the company where he worked before.
One day, dad said, "Mom and I are thinking to run the bakery."
So I said, "That's a good idea. It would be great." A couple of years later, I thought that we probably would start the business.
The next day, we all visited one bakery, pretty far from home.
There, dad said, "This is the bakery we will run from next month."
"What? Next month? Dad, are you serious?"
My sister and I were shocked and asked again and again because he never mentioned about it except the other day's comment.
Anyway, we opened the store and received the customers. At first, it was all new, weird, and difficult for me to sell the products, since I never had a part time job or something like this. It was stressful because some strange customers picked lots of breads in their basket and left.
Others touched the bread with their hands back and forth without buying it. There are thousands of strange customers more but I'll stop for this
Outside of selling the breads, we had to set up all night to order all the materials for making bread. Once, I forgot to save the ordered list. Therefore materials didn't come out from factory. So all through the morning, I borrowed several things from other branches.
In a hot day, we are very busy because of making ice flakes. To freeze away their over-heated bodies with some cold ice flakes, lots of people come to our place. Then, in the kitchen, we start with preparing kiwis, red globes, pineapples and other fresh fruit. After grinding ice cubes, decorate ice with fruits, jelly, and syrup. While I prepare the ice flakes, other worker sells cake, breads at the same time. When peak time is over, kitchen floor is messy with spilled food. And used dishes are waiting in the sink.
I'm doing this so far and so good. Sometimes it's hard to do both study and work but I get used to it now. And I think I grew up more after all the things got through it.
hello I'm a person who don't know how to write narrative essay
It's a homework from my academy to write narrative essay. I searched many narrative essay thing, but I still don't know how to do :(
for this, I kinda exhausted right now but I have to finish this until tomorrow.
I asked to my teacher what's wrong with this essay, but he said just my essay is unorganized, have no dramatized scene, serious problem with tense of verbs etc.
in this essay, I want to write how was my feeling about getting money, and total mess, but now I'm fine. help me out plz!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
I have some unique experience that nobody went through.
In 2009, my family, especially mom, and dad, started to run a bakery. //strange
At first, though we were tired, we thought 'It's going to be ok.' But over time, we got more exhausted and what made the matter worse, dad suddenly went back to the company where he worked before.
One day, dad said, "Mom and I are thinking to run the bakery."
So I said, "That's a good idea. It would be great." A couple of years later, I thought that we probably would start the business.
The next day, we all visited one bakery, pretty far from home.
There, dad said, "This is the bakery we will run from next month."
"What? Next month? Dad, are you serious?"
My sister and I were shocked and asked again and again because he never mentioned about it except the other day's comment.
Anyway, we opened the store and received the customers. At first, it was all new, weird, and difficult for me to sell the products, since I never had a part time job or something like this. It was stressful because some strange customers picked lots of breads in their basket and left.
Others touched the bread with their hands back and forth without buying it. There are thousands of strange customers more but I'll stop for this
Outside of selling the breads, we had to set up all night to order all the materials for making bread. Once, I forgot to save the ordered list. Therefore materials didn't come out from factory. So all through the morning, I borrowed several things from other branches.
In a hot day, we are very busy because of making ice flakes. To freeze away their over-heated bodies with some cold ice flakes, lots of people come to our place. Then, in the kitchen, we start with preparing kiwis, red globes, pineapples and other fresh fruit. After grinding ice cubes, decorate ice with fruits, jelly, and syrup. While I prepare the ice flakes, other worker sells cake, breads at the same time. When peak time is over, kitchen floor is messy with spilled food. And used dishes are waiting in the sink.
I'm doing this so far and so good. Sometimes it's hard to do both study and work but I get used to it now. And I think I grew up more after all the things got through it.
