Undergraduate / "I want to become a child psychologist" - my personal statement. [9]

I need some feedback please.
thank you :D

The rays of the 2007 summer stung my back like sizzling needles as I ran back and forth with the 2nd graders in a game of tag. Their innocent laughs echoed throughout the campus and I can still hear them when I return to visit. The air conditioned room was sublime in contrast to the scorching heat on the playground. We gave the kids a moment to settle down and after everyone caught their breath, it was time to engage in academics. The daily routine of them pulling out their homework had become a ritual to me in which I saw them exert endless effort. This time around it was something more. The duty of being a child mentor brought me to discover something of my own. I was astounded by the intelligence of the children. They spoke eloquently of science and reading, in ways I did not know a 7 year old child could speak. Their aptitude electrified me and I became hungry to witness more. I was fascinated with the ways in which they projected their ideas. This made me realize that working with children was a proper fit for me.

Supervising them triggered memories of my elementary school days. I could see every one of my classmates in the faces of these children. In the voyage through my memories, I realized that the determination they convey in the classroom would become difficult to preserve.

They were all at risk of deviating off the path they were on.
I remembered my friends who shared play time and homework time with me when I was a child. Throughout the years I have witnessed how many of them became victims of a negative cycle. I remember friends who joined gangs, those who dropped out of school and those who were imprisoned in a state of mind that persuaded them that they could not achieve anything. I saw this cycle over and over.

After self- reflection, I became aware that I could do something to keep children in the right direction. I do not want the youth to wander down a path of disorder and failure. I personally believe that what children acquire throughout their younger years, they will carry on for life. If we begin focus on children at key ages, we can make sure they develop a positive attitude and a desire to thrive. As they grow into adolescence, of course, problems will become inevitable but what they learned when they were younger will shape them into a person who makes the wisest of decisions. I was taught not to give in to challenges and temptations, to be persistent even if all the odds are overpowering. Challenges exist so that we excel beyond what we expect. I want to become a clinical psychologist to treat and diagnose disorders that may interfere with the road to success.