Undergraduate / "My Grandfather, focusing on health of others" - Common App Essay- Influencial Person [4]

i love how this almost feels like a fiction piece.

after "just my Grandpa and I" in the first line put a semicolon. something to show that there needs to be a longer pause there.

now that you discussed you reason for wanting to study this put why you want to study this at the school you're applying to and how you will use your degree in and for your future career.

work on some punctuations

other than that, great paper! :)

Undergraduate / "The Problem of Prejudice" - Common App Essay [7]

awesome, awesome paper! i love th raw confessions. it's well written, educated. one suggestion: start off with "i am a white, upper..." it has a powerful impact and makes the reader (me) want to continue. good job :)