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Posts by mightygrinch
Joined: Oct 19, 2010
Last Post: Oct 28, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  
From: United States

Displayed posts: 11
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mightygrinch   
Oct 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "Super-heroes" - Columbia & NYU (Admission essay) [19]

I changed the last little mistakes i made, and now it looks sexier than danneel harris holding pizza and a gallon of dr pepper. Thanks for all your help , I couldnt have done it without all of you ( though i'm looking at you a lot, simbarasche). I hope this will get me somewhere, as i've put a lot into it.
mightygrinch   
Oct 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "Super-heroes" - Columbia & NYU (Admission essay) [19]

Glad to hear it's better; unfortunately, i didn't understand how I can avoid sounding like cliche. How do I change that? what other grammatical mistakes is there? thanks for the help!

Edit: Sorry to bother some more, but I really have a problem with the cliched comment. The thing I dread the most is being one of those millions of "I'm an immigrant" or "my mom raised me alone" type of essays. I have no problem with them at all, really; I just fear it wouldn't be pleasant for the reader to have to read one more, so I chose the fictional character essay instead. This is making me sweat more than a nun waiting for a preganancy test. is it the ending? is it too sugar coated?
mightygrinch   
Oct 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "Super-heroes" - Columbia & NYU (Admission essay) [19]

Ok, first off, thank you guys for helping me out, I think it's extremely generous. i feel like mother theresa and gandhi are writing this with me.
mightygrinch   
Oct 19, 2010
Undergraduate / About my choice of "Art"; Short answer - Written answers [3]

Hello everybody,

Need opinions on the short answer.

Topic:
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).

Short Answer:
About my choice of "Art"; I have yet to show my work or my talent, and I haven't won any national awards I can detail about.

Yet, my dedication is serious, and creating is my passion; It has always been this way, ever since I was a toddler. I endlessly draw or write stories; mold characters or imagine situations. No matter what surface or material I craft on I need to give form to my ideas.

Art always had an important role in my life. I believe that creating is leaving a trace of our existence, detailing how we progressively change depending on our states of mind and becoming more complex with time.

Please give me honest opinions and don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. Even if I cry.
mightygrinch   
Oct 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "Super-heroes" - Columbia & NYU (Admission essay) [19]

Um... English IS my first language. now i want to run away and cry. However, as my own devil's advocate, I speak 4 languages and it's a real pain juggling through them.

Anyways back to business. I understand the way you would replace the pest issue, but honestly... I have a thing with essays who try to look too smart... i kind of see them as superficial. I'm re-writing everything right now and i'll post it later; hope it redeems the first one i showcased.

As a final note, thanks a lot. Not only for my essay, but to others who you give advice. You're like the interweb essay vigilante looking for damsels in distress.
mightygrinch   
Oct 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "Super-heroes" - Columbia & NYU (Admission essay) [19]

Oups. I hope i won't get in any trouble, I meant to say thank you in a funny way. Anyways, thank you for replying, I agree with most of the things you said, however, i don't know go to go around the fact that he is annoying and a pest. that is him, and that was the describing paragraph.

I really want to change it, because if you say you interpret it like that, so can the admissions committee. any ideas?

Is the essay entertaining nevertheless? Last thing i want is to be boring, or a chore.
mightygrinch   
Oct 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "Meeting different, diverse people" - Columbia Supplement Essay [5]

Hello, I think I filled up this supplement as well, the one for columbia, and I must say it is incredibly well written. However, don't go with the whole "new york is diverse", "your campus is beautiful" theme; a lot of people are going to say that and those are the most obvious things, the kind of things they dont want to hear again.

Talk about columbia seminars, which are accessible starting during the very first years of undergraduate education, and talk about your desire to compete and rival any other applicants. it would make your supplement even more promising.
mightygrinch   
Oct 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "Super-heroes" - Columbia & NYU (Admission essay) [19]

I'm applying for college in new york city, and... I'm aiming for the two big ones. Out of fear that some of you may be prodigies of penmanship, i'll say that my writing skills are average- let's say entertaining. My main weakness is that i fall into the "funny guy" category and when I write essays, it kind of takes that turn as well. Anyways, here it goes, here's hoping I wrote a columbia caliber essay.

Topic:
Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

Essay:

I've been a loyal follower of Super-heroes ever since I can remember. Getting initiated was nothing uncommon; during the mid-nineties, they were everywhere and managed to invade every child's bedroom. Today, while I can proudly say that I don't wear Spider-Man underwear anymore, I should admit that I made the transition from action figures to Comic Books. Nowadays, I always ensure that I have enough money to pick-up my weekly dose of magazines because of one very special character: Deadpool. Knowing that he's a money-hungry mercenary who kidnaps his friends, I'll understand if you start wondering in what way he can influence my life for the better.

Deadpool isn't heroic, he doesn't stand for positive moral values, and in contrast to the visually appealing plethora of traditional superheroes, he looks like a disfigured, steroid-fed Marty Feldman. Looking back on it now, I sounds as if I have a serious problem with tastes and preferences; be assured, I am nowhere as rude nor as annoying as he is, and we don't share much besides our common love for tacos. However, What I do consider interesting is the fact that he has the skills to go toe-to-toe with the mightiest; but he chooses to be unique with negative traits, by making senseless talking and horrible jokes his originality and main appeals. Quite an unsafe gamble to stand out from the other vigilantes in tights.

Nevertheless, immature humor, melodrama origins, and even bad-manners, were the factors of his popularity among so many readers. A lightbulb moment came once I understood that through his exaggerated persona there was something to be found. I've always thought that the fact that he is new and fresh had to surprise people, but it was because he was so much larger than life that he grew to be a lot more. This is how he manages to stay in his readers' minds, and makes their lives a little more delightful while they agonize in those endless lines at the post office. In that sense, I do compare him to myself, as I've always been a very outgoing person with genuine social skills. I knew being different and humorous were a plus; but he showed me to what lenghts personality was important and how it could have a positive impact on others.

I'm not saying that we should devote every moment of our lives into trying to be funny or original, nor that one should aspire to become a clown; but I firmly believe that we should be without reserve and open to others. I've been blessed with numerous friends during my travels around the world, and nothing has ever made me prouder than seeing others pick up my speech habits, or re-doing jokes despite having different languages, mentalities, upbringings or all three combined. I'd love to say that it comes from good-looks, but I have to give most of the credit to being amusing while speaking about more serious matters. It might be a personal touch, yet we all have one. This is why most known individuals in modern society are the most recognizable in their own way. I always guarantee to show myself vulnerable so people can relate to my adventures; I think that's all it takes to connect with strangers, and you don't need to be a braggadocious Deadpool or a god-like super-hero to do so.

_______________________________________

You'll notice that i'm a really fast guy, as it took me 3 days to add two or three sentences.

I took away the "judy garland" line, but I regret it. It might be cliched, but I really do speak like that in real life, I try to find references to explain stuff but I had to take it out because of lenght issues. I compared judy garland to grease because the J-lady was an alcoholic, had a real insecurity problem, and then peacefully died. In an drug-overdose related death. On the other hand grease was the blueprint of Sclub 7, and dealt with "rebellious teenagers" with laughable haircuts beaten only by marge simpson.

Please be gentle.

Pardon any mistakes i've made or rules i've broken, this is my first post.
Please tell me whatever is bad, or whatever i have to change. Thanks!
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