Undergraduate / it's politics / sports reading vs. solar power / hip-hop mashups- Tufts Supplemental [7]

For most teenagers of seventeen, life is a mess . Amid the towering stacks of college applications, the infinite troubles between boyfriends and girlfriends, and the continuous popularity contest known as high school, someone my age can easily loose their heading and enter the next stage of their lives disoriented and scared. Mothers and fathers can do their best to re-orient these awkward organisms with words of encouragement and their sometimes-constructive criticism, but in the end, the only thing that matters is the compass teenagers use to steer their life in the right direction.

My plan is to double-major in History and Economics, with a focus on American History and Macroeconomics. History is my passion. Biographies of men like Abraham Lincoln, John C. Calhoun, and, my favorite historical figure of all time, Theodore Roosevelt line the bookshelf in my room. The elementary question I ask of anything and everything, "why?" provides all the passion I need to devour such historical texts; my necessity to constantly be learning keeps me from ever becoming complacent. AP European History taught me to think like a historian, and AP U.S History converted me into one. I no longer view the past as a giant splotch of names and dates(Good!), but as a series of interconnected and multifaceted trends that have shaped where we are as a civilization today and where we are going tomorrow.

In my opinion, economics is the study of the distribution of wealth amongst nations, and of circulation of wealth within countries. An understanding of economics means a better understanding of the primary force that drives not only our nation, but also the entire world. My ultimate desire is to start my own business. As the president and founder of the Food Critics Club at Mira Costa High School, I know the feeling of creating something out of nothing, and seeing that something grow and mature. It is a feeling of both exhilaration and maturity unmatched by any other experience.(maybe combine with previous sentence) To see my club grow from three members, to ten, and now to twenty five is a sight well worth all of the effort I have put in. Although a food critics club is a lot different than a business, the feeling of creation is the same, and it is a feeling that I will pursue well after college. Undoubtedly, a degree in economics from Georgetown will provide an incredibly strong foundation for my future commercial endeavors.

Since sophomore year, attending Georgetown University has been a dream of mine ; simply put, it has everything I want in an institution of higher learning . Georgetown has one of the most diverse student bodies in the entire nation; it is an establishment that promotes foreign thought and introduces exotic ways of thinking about proverbial things (nessesary). Located just 5 minutes away from Washington D.C, Georgetown is at the heart of America's past, making it the best place for an inspired student to learn about the most powerful and influential nation in current history. Most importantly however, Georgetown attracts the types of students that always question the world around them- students that are never satisfied with intellectual complacency.

I was fortunate enough to be able to visit this past summer during a soccer camp hosted by the Hoya Soccer Team. I stayed in the New South dormitory for three nights and was able to briefly examine the university's stunning campus. Although classes were out of session and students were home for the summer, chills still ran down my spine as I strolled the grounds in between practices. When I first passed the school cemetery, the deafening music produced by the cicadas and the awe-inspiring sense of tradition emanating from the school overwhelmed my senses. It was at that moment that I knew Georgetown was the school for me. (why would cicadas make you want to go there? maybe separate sentences?)

For most teenagers of seventeen , life is a mess- but not for me. I know where I am going; my heading is strong and my determination stronger. My goal is to enroll in Georgetown College and double major in history and economics. My goal is to emerge from Georgetown as an adult, prepared for the future and prepared for life. My goal is to start my own business, and experience that incommunicable feeling of creating something from nothing. My goal is to be a lifelong learner, to never stop questioning the world around me. My goals for the future serve as my compass, helping to guide me through uncertainty and disorderin a proper direction (nessesary?).

(i think this paragraph is redundant, unless you feel you need a conclusion)
Most teenagers of seventeen don't know where they are goin g. But I do. I'm going to Georgetown University.

First of all, is the length referenced at all? Its well written, albeit a bit repetitive at times.
Some of your language is unnecessarily complicated, something i had to learn when i started writing. Although its sounds more educated, it confuses the reader (even admission officers) and breaks the flow of a sentence, i highlighted confusing sentences in red.

Undergraduate / it's politics / sports reading vs. solar power / hip-hop mashups- Tufts Supplemental [7]

I think you bring up some very good points about the why tufts essay..
would it be better to discuss the specific moment why tufts? what i would do at the school? or like what you said, what i would do after?

Thank you very much for the feedback though :)

Undergraduate / it's politics / sports reading vs. solar power / hip-hop mashups- Tufts Supplemental [7]

Heres some tentative writing tell me what you think

for why tufts:
From the information session at Tufts to sitting in on classes, something clicked. At first, my primary interest in Tufts was the strong international focus, and students I met confirmed my excitement. Then, I had the pleasure of meeting a classics professor at Tufts, and it dawned on me that I had the potential of studying both the ancient and modern world and drawing important parallels between the two. The people I met on campus, both students and faculty, all inspired me to want to attend Tufts.

And for the first one
I'll bet that many people don't know that the hit 90's song "Zombie" by The Cranberries is actually a protest against the Irish Republican Army's guerrilla war with England and not about the living dead. Though for me, that is exactly the kind of fact that fascinates me. Sometimes I will learn something just by overhearing a classmate's conversation about it; but often just that taste of information drives me to want to learn more. More often than not, the hours I spend researching a topic on the Internet result in nothing more than building up a repertoire of useless facts. Even so, I am always driven to satisfy the whims of my curiosity.

Occasionally this information doesn't always prove to be useless at all. In fact, my assortment of information gives me deeper insight into topics that I never anticipated. Upon playing a video game that featured events in the Cold War, I became hooked on the subject. Just to understand the context of the game, I spent hours researching the specifics of the Soviet Bloc. When I studied those same events in history class, I was able to add different insight to class discussion with my background knowledge. I cannot predict how or when my repertoire of "useless" facts will be useful; but as long as I enjoy augmenting my collection, it is what makes me "tick."

any help would be greatly appreciated.

Undergraduate / "where your friends' Facebook statuses..." - Common App Extracurricular Short Answer [3]

"It's become normal to get caught up in ones little bubble, where your friends' Facebook statuses form the brunt of news and awareness. A club that disguises worldly causes with art and incorporates an entertainment factor into spreading messages for the greater good, made it clear to me that I had to become a part of COTA to tackle pressing issues, while battling my own demons .

... the spotlight did not appeal to me.However COTA appeared to be extremely fun.
... worked behind the scenes, as an usher later as the Treasurer.
... and develop myself into the confident person I am today."

In the first sentence you need to decide on one or your AKA they need to match
I changed some words that seemed too awkward
I agree the sentence you made red is long, perhaps describe the club first, and how it appealed to you, and then how you got involved, also battling owns demons seems out of place to me, maybe you could elaborate later?

audacious has a bit of negative connotation to it as well, perhaps use the word bold or confident?

Overall I like the way your essay plays out, if you could find some way of introducing your shyness that would be preferable, but that is only if you can fit it.