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Posts by Italack
Joined: Oct 29, 2010
Last Post: Oct 30, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: United States of America

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Italack   
Oct 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "Homeless for a night" Stanford Essay, an experience intellectually stimulates you [11]

"A single ladle of condensed chicken noodle soup poured into my bowl and I took broke a white roll from the bag stamped with 99 cents in red letters."

This part sounds a bit awkward:
...and I took broke a white roll from the bag stamped with 99 cents in red lettersI would suggest:
A single ladle of condensed chicken noodle soup poured into my bowl; I took a white roll from the bag stamped "99 cents" in red font.

Misspelling and another suggestion for this part:
I unrolled my sleeping back into the brown cave and climbed in.
I would suggest:
I unrolled my sleeping bag into the browncardboard cave and climbed in.

Say whhaaaat?:
This night was lucky not a common event for me.
I would suggest:
Luckily, the events of this night were not a common occurrence for me.
(I still dont like the way I put it on that one, but something along those lines)
Italack   
Oct 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "What I learned in Italy"-U of Florida (Meaningful event) [3]

So, I started my application a week before it was due and I wrote this up yesterday. Any thoughts?

He is in a new world. A new world with a new language, new people, new customs. He is a boy of six, too young to realize what profound effect this new chapter in his life will have on his future self. He is I, or rather, was.

At the tender age of six, I left the United States behind for two years to live with family in Italy (My father met my mother while he was stationed on a base in Italy). I was thrust into this new life and immediately enrolled in an Italian elementary school; starting out with a feeble grasp of even the Italian alphabet, I went on to become one of the best students in my class. As a stranger, there was no choice but to overcome and adapt. And that I did; I learned the language, befriended the people, embraced the customs. I became, for the first time, Italian.

Being not only multi-cultural, but also multi-racial, I had (and still have, on the occasions I revisit Italy) the tendency to attract odd looks. I have never blamed them for looking, though; I understand. Living in southern Italy, it is rare for one to see another of my skin color. But, whether the cause of the stares was a genuine sense of disdain or merely an innocent curiosity, I still learned how it feels to be different. I know what it means to be the black sheep.

My experience with a complete immersion in a different society has given me an equal regard for everyone leaving aside whatever their particular cultural background may be. Ive accepted that culture is relative; no one is superior to the other. Having been in a situation to be seen as "different", I sympathize with other groups in that same situation. My experience has lead me to strive for an unbiased outlook on all people, befriending, shunning, and criticizing others as objectively as possible. This, I believe, is an important asset in as diverse an environment as a college campus can be. Being accepting of others I see as the first step in being a good citizen of a given campus and the world in general. This openness, compounded with my unbridled desire to learn, insatiable hunger for future success, and general longing to better myself are what I believe make me a perfect fit for the University of Florida.
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