Ionus
Nov 27, 2010
Undergraduate / Sincerity - MIT Attribute of Your Personality Essay Prompt - Editing [5]
Thank you for your input everyone
Thank you for your input everyone
Ionus
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Sincerity - MIT Attribute of Your Personality Essay Prompt - Editing [5]
Here is the prompt:
What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)
Could someone give me some ideas about how my essay could be pieced together more effective, perhaps in a clearer manner, while also cutting down on the essay's length (289 words)? I don't really have any stellar personal examples, but the topic has meaning to me. I also wondered if the literary points were tangents and could be made more brief. Thanks!
"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal." As quoted by aesthetic Oscar Wilde, it is a shame that this ideal, sincerity, is cast in such a light. Yet, it cannot be denied that this maxim has truth; with the arrival of the information age, people increasingly have been proved to be more active in lying, individually and in business, and on a grander scale.
I desire a greater presence of sincerity today, and a true version at that. This is not just a moral plea but the trait which lets us work together and achieve great things as humans. What could we build upon if we did not know what we could trust?
I can often look to literature and the history surrounding it to show the extent of this dishonesty. The Roaring Twenties, as shown in Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, were a time of muddled morals, where people created masks for themselves among trivial niceties to cover up true sincerity for personal gain. The Great Depression after it also found humanity in question as it pertained to the story told by Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, where business profit became the driving force in deception. In essence, the fall of sincerity became a fall in our value of humanity.
Relationships, the building blocks of our world, are the better when we consider this concept. For my friends, since I can "get real" and give them an honest opinion, I am often their helping hand; I get calls all the time asking for information about maybe a test, homework, or even college applications. Just being there, sincerely, to answer even the smallest questions convinces me what a difference it makes.
Here is the prompt:
What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)
Could someone give me some ideas about how my essay could be pieced together more effective, perhaps in a clearer manner, while also cutting down on the essay's length (289 words)? I don't really have any stellar personal examples, but the topic has meaning to me. I also wondered if the literary points were tangents and could be made more brief. Thanks!
"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal." As quoted by aesthetic Oscar Wilde, it is a shame that this ideal, sincerity, is cast in such a light. Yet, it cannot be denied that this maxim has truth; with the arrival of the information age, people increasingly have been proved to be more active in lying, individually and in business, and on a grander scale.
I desire a greater presence of sincerity today, and a true version at that. This is not just a moral plea but the trait which lets us work together and achieve great things as humans. What could we build upon if we did not know what we could trust?
I can often look to literature and the history surrounding it to show the extent of this dishonesty. The Roaring Twenties, as shown in Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, were a time of muddled morals, where people created masks for themselves among trivial niceties to cover up true sincerity for personal gain. The Great Depression after it also found humanity in question as it pertained to the story told by Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, where business profit became the driving force in deception. In essence, the fall of sincerity became a fall in our value of humanity.
Relationships, the building blocks of our world, are the better when we consider this concept. For my friends, since I can "get real" and give them an honest opinion, I am often their helping hand; I get calls all the time asking for information about maybe a test, homework, or even college applications. Just being there, sincerely, to answer even the smallest questions convinces me what a difference it makes.
