JeromeM
Nov 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "Leaving Hong Kong to study elsewhere" - commapp experience [3]
I think the ending of paragraph 2 should be improved but i don't know how. and the content should be more but i don't know where to add. please help me, thanks.
The leaden sky was slightly lit by the upcoming sunrise. Gazing at the reddish horizon, I sat on the balcony of my hotel room and was deeply lost in thought trying to figure out the rather illusive world appeared in front of me.
It was six in the morning, and I was about to leave from Hong Kong, where I took my SAT exam the day before. Looking back to the past year, I still felt that all I had experienced was a little bit untrue: I prepared for SAT in my spare time and traveled by air for nearly 5 hours to a completely strange city, all by myself. My parents labeled me as rebellious for not attending a domestic university like other Chinese students. However, I thought all I had done was to prove myself to them. With all my efforts to pursue my dream to study abroad, I gradually realized that I existed apart from my mother, father, teachers, and that I was an independent person. I should have my own thoughts, make my own decisions, and even be responsible for myself. Therefore, I would like to choose my own way, believe my choice, and move forward to my dream unswervingly.
The first ray of light has broken the darkness. It's time to leave. I know that when the journey began, unknown was the destiny. But there is a will there is a way. I have struggled for endless days and I would not stop until that glorious day.
I think the ending of paragraph 2 should be improved but i don't know how. and the content should be more but i don't know where to add. please help me, thanks.
The leaden sky was slightly lit by the upcoming sunrise. Gazing at the reddish horizon, I sat on the balcony of my hotel room and was deeply lost in thought trying to figure out the rather illusive world appeared in front of me.
It was six in the morning, and I was about to leave from Hong Kong, where I took my SAT exam the day before. Looking back to the past year, I still felt that all I had experienced was a little bit untrue: I prepared for SAT in my spare time and traveled by air for nearly 5 hours to a completely strange city, all by myself. My parents labeled me as rebellious for not attending a domestic university like other Chinese students. However, I thought all I had done was to prove myself to them. With all my efforts to pursue my dream to study abroad, I gradually realized that I existed apart from my mother, father, teachers, and that I was an independent person. I should have my own thoughts, make my own decisions, and even be responsible for myself. Therefore, I would like to choose my own way, believe my choice, and move forward to my dream unswervingly.
The first ray of light has broken the darkness. It's time to leave. I know that when the journey began, unknown was the destiny. But there is a will there is a way. I have struggled for endless days and I would not stop until that glorious day.
