nickg123
Nov 4, 2010
Undergraduate / "You should also be working at 14 since your father did" - Short Answer [5]
Ok thanks I see what you're saying.
Ok thanks I see what you're saying.
nickg123
Nov 3, 2010
Undergraduate / "invaluable work ethic" - Lehigh Supplement - 150-250 words [5]
true. i edited a lot since this version, and i'll continue to do so with your advice.thanks !
true. i edited a lot since this version, and i'll continue to do so with your advice.thanks !
nickg123
Nov 3, 2010
Undergraduate / "invaluable work ethic" - Lehigh Supplement - 150-250 words [5]
Why is Lehigh a good match for you? What contributions will you make to the academic experience and to campus life? (As a guideline, your response should be between 150-250 words.)
please review and comment, thanks !
Coming from a large, competitive public high school, I know what it's like to be challenged. Lehigh is a perfect match for me because it combines quality academics and the flexibility of a small, private university. Despite this information, it was not until I toured Lehigh's campus during the spring of my junior year that I figured out it is where I want to be for the next four years. At a recent Senior Open House, Dean of Admissions J. Leon Washington spoke passionately about Lehigh and its early decision plan-a plan suitable for those who find their "wow" at a school. At Lehigh, I found my "wow."
The invaluable work ethic I've gained from being surrounded by competitive high school students will carry over into the classroom at Lehigh. I come from a school that is ethnically diverse and I've experienced being the minority. Being in this environment has taught me to embrace and appreciate the ethnic differences in my school, and in turn become more cultured and open-minded. I think my high school serves as a microcosm of the real world, in that cultural differences are omnipresent and should be recognized and respected. The diversity I'm surrounded by has given me a unique perspective, one I'd like to share at Lehigh.
Why is Lehigh a good match for you? What contributions will you make to the academic experience and to campus life? (As a guideline, your response should be between 150-250 words.)
please review and comment, thanks !
Coming from a large, competitive public high school, I know what it's like to be challenged. Lehigh is a perfect match for me because it combines quality academics and the flexibility of a small, private university. Despite this information, it was not until I toured Lehigh's campus during the spring of my junior year that I figured out it is where I want to be for the next four years. At a recent Senior Open House, Dean of Admissions J. Leon Washington spoke passionately about Lehigh and its early decision plan-a plan suitable for those who find their "wow" at a school. At Lehigh, I found my "wow."
The invaluable work ethic I've gained from being surrounded by competitive high school students will carry over into the classroom at Lehigh. I come from a school that is ethnically diverse and I've experienced being the minority. Being in this environment has taught me to embrace and appreciate the ethnic differences in my school, and in turn become more cultured and open-minded. I think my high school serves as a microcosm of the real world, in that cultural differences are omnipresent and should be recognized and respected. The diversity I'm surrounded by has given me a unique perspective, one I'd like to share at Lehigh.
nickg123
Nov 3, 2010
Undergraduate / "My Turn to Lead" - Purdue essay [3]
2nd paragraph: "Unlike the crazy and loud S.I.T.'s, I came off to be calmer"
Edit: "Unlike the crazy and loud S.I.T.'s I'd come across in my many years at camp, I came off as a more calm, reserved kind of person."
3rd paragraph: "Truthfully, my main goal through this experience wasn't all about proving myself to be just a great leader"
Edit: "...wasn't to prove myself and simply be a great leader"
4th paragraph: "By sharing my passion for what I truly loved seemed effortless"
-> bad sentence, take out 'By'
Conclusion: "Leadership is able to be portrayed through numerous types of personalities."
Edit: "Instead, leadership is more of a subjective quality, and can be portrayed in many different ways through different personalites."
2nd paragraph: "Unlike the crazy and loud S.I.T.'s, I came off to be calmer"
Edit: "Unlike the crazy and loud S.I.T.'s I'd come across in my many years at camp, I came off as a more calm, reserved kind of person."
3rd paragraph: "Truthfully, my main goal through this experience wasn't all about proving myself to be just a great leader"
Edit: "...wasn't to prove myself and simply be a great leader"
4th paragraph: "By sharing my passion for what I truly loved seemed effortless"
-> bad sentence, take out 'By'
Conclusion: "Leadership is able to be portrayed through numerous types of personalities."
Edit: "Instead, leadership is more of a subjective quality, and can be portrayed in many different ways through different personalites."
nickg123
Nov 3, 2010
Undergraduate / "my baseball experience" - 150 words or less on an extracurricular activity... [6]
Pretty good!
First sentence: "from" my bat...maybe choose a different word?
Everything else is great this is well written.
Pretty good!
First sentence: "from" my bat...maybe choose a different word?
Everything else is great this is well written.
nickg123
Nov 3, 2010
Undergraduate / "You should also be working at 14 since your father did" - Short Answer [5]
"Your father had a job when he was fourteen, and so did your two sisters. There's no reason why you shouldn't be working."
My mom's words were enough to get me to go find a job. I started working at Dairy Queen more than two years ago, during the summer of 2008. Initially, I couldn't be left alone without the boss around. He observed as I maintained the cleanliness and quality of the store, and while I greeted and served customers. After that first summer, I started working longer shifts, and was given more responsibility. As I gained more experience, I was trusted to do things more independently, and, eventually began managing the store and serving customers by myself. Just a few weeks ago, I received the key to the store-a key representing not only a key to the front door of DQ, but to success and responsibility in the workplace.
this is 150 words, it can't be any more than that. What do you guys think?
"Your father had a job when he was fourteen, and so did your two sisters. There's no reason why you shouldn't be working."
My mom's words were enough to get me to go find a job. I started working at Dairy Queen more than two years ago, during the summer of 2008. Initially, I couldn't be left alone without the boss around. He observed as I maintained the cleanliness and quality of the store, and while I greeted and served customers. After that first summer, I started working longer shifts, and was given more responsibility. As I gained more experience, I was trusted to do things more independently, and, eventually began managing the store and serving customers by myself. Just a few weeks ago, I received the key to the store-a key representing not only a key to the front door of DQ, but to success and responsibility in the workplace.
this is 150 words, it can't be any more than that. What do you guys think?
