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Posts by kas
Joined: Nov 12, 2010
Last Post: Nov 12, 2010
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From: United States of America

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kas   
Nov 12, 2010
Undergraduate / "no greater joy than soccer" - MIT pleasure essay [4]

I think you did a great job explaining and elaborating. Definitely don't take out the 2nd line. The first sentence seems a little awkward however. Maybe try something like,There are few things that give me greater joy than soccer.

And if that puts you over 100 words, you could take out the last part of your second sentence about taking your mind off everything. That seems a bit unnecessary.
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