adelyne
Nov 16, 2010
Writing Feedback / governments should spent more money for health education than research-feedback [4]
Hi! These are my suggestions:
-most of the citizens might have thought (not think)
Is it worth if the government spend (not spent) more amounts on (I think is to spend on smth)
-have helped to improve the general health in the country to (not "into")some extent (extend is the verb)
-after however you have to use comma
-budget not "budjet"
- to raise (not to give) awearness (not awarness)
-after for instance you do not use ":" but comma
-education is usually singular
- to reduce not to reduse
-it is not child mortality but infant mortality
-malnutrition not malnutrtion
- have helped to reduce the death rates in a great margin especially some tribal areas in Africa does not sound good maybe you should try : have helped to reduce the death rates significantly especially in some tribes from Africa
-resistive power better use resistance
- not medications but medicines
-Therefore, new researches are inevitable ( it does not sound good, try to use something else) to prevent the spread of micro organisms (this is one word).
-For example: (use instead ":" -> ",")developed countris like USA and UK divide a large amount of money for researches to develop new methods of effective treatments on disease conditions in their annual budget.
-In short (better in conclusion or summing up ) dividing a large amount of money for health education and preventive measures are not good and applicabe (applicable)
- an equilibrium in (no "in" here) between the spending of these two
-The research innovate techniques of prevention so that, both research and health education and preventive measures are related.( try to rewrite this, it is a little bit ambiguous)
Hi! These are my suggestions:
-most of the citizens might have thought (not think)
Is it worth if the government spend (not spent) more amounts on (I think is to spend on smth)
-have helped to improve the general health in the country to (not "into")some extent (extend is the verb)
-after however you have to use comma
-budget not "budjet"
- to raise (not to give) awearness (not awarness)
-after for instance you do not use ":" but comma
-education is usually singular
- to reduce not to reduse
-it is not child mortality but infant mortality
-malnutrition not malnutrtion
- have helped to reduce the death rates in a great margin especially some tribal areas in Africa does not sound good maybe you should try : have helped to reduce the death rates significantly especially in some tribes from Africa
-resistive power better use resistance
- not medications but medicines
-Therefore, new researches are inevitable ( it does not sound good, try to use something else) to prevent the spread of micro organisms (this is one word).
-For example: (use instead ":" -> ",")developed countris like USA and UK divide a large amount of money for researches to develop new methods of effective treatments on disease conditions in their annual budget.
-In short (better in conclusion or summing up ) dividing a large amount of money for health education and preventive measures are not good and applicabe (applicable)
- an equilibrium in (no "in" here) between the spending of these two
-The research innovate techniques of prevention so that, both research and health education and preventive measures are related.( try to rewrite this, it is a little bit ambiguous)