Zaina
Nov 16, 2010
Undergraduate / "flash floods in Jeddah, Saudi Arabi" - UT, issue of importance [3]
I've recently written an essay , please can any one revise it for me.
I am applying to a university and I was wondering if this essay thoroughly answers the prompt.
I would highly appreciate your suggestions to improve my essay
The prompt/ Choose an issue of importance to you the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation
In 2009, a sudden and excessive rainfall caused huge flash floods that took place in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. The Saudi government investigation regarded the victims failing to follow the government orders, the arbitrary of neighborhood buildings; and purchasing land in unplanned areas. Indeed; this disaster should never have been allowed to happen if appropriate flood drainage system had been installed. On the other hand, the critics accused the government of their negligence and shortage of the competent city planning. The scale of this catastrophe affected a vast majority of Jeddah's citizens and their community that could last for a decade.
Jeddah floods caused a massive disaster including damage in homes, shops, warehouses, hospitals, vehicles, trees, bridges and many properties, additionally forming bodies of water that spreads many epidemics through mosquitoes. Truly, the number of damage has not been declared. The effect of casualty on the community of Jeddah has gone unrecognized by the local and the international media, despite its worth for quick exigencies. In my view, victims deserve a large amount of compensation from the government or foreign campaigns and a deep compassion.
Personally, during this crisis I volunteered in agencies committed to providing relief to victims, I aided in distributing the donated supplements of food, beverages, apparels, pillows, blankets, and home cleaning tools in boxes; then these boxes were delivered to the people in need by trucks.
Jeddah floods underlain the devastation of the infrastructure that is implemented in all the regions of Saudi Arabia; yet that what makes it most frightening because flooding can make the same or even worse damage in any other city.
I've recently written an essay , please can any one revise it for me.
I am applying to a university and I was wondering if this essay thoroughly answers the prompt.
I would highly appreciate your suggestions to improve my essay
The prompt/ Choose an issue of importance to you the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation
In 2009, a sudden and excessive rainfall caused huge flash floods that took place in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. The Saudi government investigation regarded the victims failing to follow the government orders, the arbitrary of neighborhood buildings; and purchasing land in unplanned areas. Indeed; this disaster should never have been allowed to happen if appropriate flood drainage system had been installed. On the other hand, the critics accused the government of their negligence and shortage of the competent city planning. The scale of this catastrophe affected a vast majority of Jeddah's citizens and their community that could last for a decade.
Jeddah floods caused a massive disaster including damage in homes, shops, warehouses, hospitals, vehicles, trees, bridges and many properties, additionally forming bodies of water that spreads many epidemics through mosquitoes. Truly, the number of damage has not been declared. The effect of casualty on the community of Jeddah has gone unrecognized by the local and the international media, despite its worth for quick exigencies. In my view, victims deserve a large amount of compensation from the government or foreign campaigns and a deep compassion.
Personally, during this crisis I volunteered in agencies committed to providing relief to victims, I aided in distributing the donated supplements of food, beverages, apparels, pillows, blankets, and home cleaning tools in boxes; then these boxes were delivered to the people in need by trucks.
Jeddah floods underlain the devastation of the infrastructure that is implemented in all the regions of Saudi Arabia; yet that what makes it most frightening because flooding can make the same or even worse damage in any other city.
