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Posts by yaiba24
Joined: Nov 17, 2010
Last Post: Jan 29, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Vietnam

Displayed posts: 4
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yaiba24   
Jan 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS-computers..use,future prospects and over-dependence. [5]

When reading your essay, I have difficulty with your coherent. In my view, you should follow the question in topic, and the 1st body para. should be moved next to the disadvantages of abusing computers. therefore, you can conclude after considering the upside and the downside of the problem.

Finally, I really adore your fertile vocab. Hope you a good day! :d
yaiba24   
Jan 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / Gender imbalance in classes is still proved to be acceptable [4]

well, first of all, I'd like to thank you so much^^
I'm gonna to sit an Ielts exam in March, so your comments are really highly appreciated
Actually, for the first sentence in para.1, I explained it in the next sent. The impact here is to avoid gender discrimination. However, maybe this sentence is not clear enough for readers hihi.

The sentence quoted, I reconsider it but realize nothing wrong, plz show me the mistake there! I compared the women's right and men's and took the eg. in education.

Thanks!
Good day!
yaiba24   
Jan 25, 2011
Writing Feedback / Gender imbalance in classes is still proved to be acceptable [4]

The issue whether universities should balance the number of male and female students or not remains controversial. Some claim that students are bestowed on benefits if the numbers of men and women are equivalent while others support the opposite idea. I am totally persuaded by the latter.

Proponents of the former argue that equal quantity of male and female students has positive impacts on students' thinking. Every one has the same status and privilege, avoiding the gender discrimination. However, it is proved to be flawed when it comes to the concept of discrimination. Universities should choose worthy students according to their performance and competence instead of their sex. What if a student with accumulative knowledge and remarkable achievements is refused just on account of her sex? It again raises a question of unfairness and discrimination, definitely.

Another idea in favour of equal quantity of male and female students is that after a long epoch of women's liberty movements, women now have the equal and equitable right in comparison with men's, say, in education. Nonetheless, hardly can we witness a gender balance in all classes or subjects. What is the nature of this issue? It is palpable that there are some certain subjects which male or female students can explore and develop their strengths as well as talents. To illustrate, men can dive in the world of natural science, IT and the like whereas women may find their imaginations fly away in immortal masterpieces of Picasso or Tolstoy. Therefore, is it fair and plausible when skipping students' quality and true desire in virtue of harmonizing the gender balance?

When all is said and done, after having insights into the problem, gender imbalance in classes is still proved to be acceptable. The fact that we should evaluate a student by his capability needs to be taken into consideration instead.
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