dsalamati
Nov 25, 2010
Undergraduate / "a descendant of Cyrus the Great" #1- the world you have come from [6]
Thank you so much for your comments and suggestions :)
Thank you so much for your comments and suggestions :)
dsalamati
Nov 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "a descendant of Cyrus the Great" #1- the world you have come from [6]
Ok thank you so much
Ok thank you so much
dsalamati
Nov 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "a descendant of Cyrus the Great" #1- the world you have come from [6]
This is my first draft to answer the prompt Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Did i answer the question? How can i make it better?
I am a descendant of Cyrus the Great who was the creator of the first declaration of human rights. I am from the world where I have seen the beauty, despair, betrayal, and glory. I was raised in a place where it has been the shade for travelers, conqueror, lords, and poor. I am from a generation that has only heard about peace and greatness in Iran, but has not seen it by its own eyes; a generation that is hungry to be recognized and have a positive impact on the world. I am one of the few fortunate young passionate students, that has got educated parents, to shape her aspirations and give it a pleasant color by sacrificing and coming to the land of opportunities and dreams.
I was my parent's first and only child. At home, I was living in a perfect world that could be the dream of many children. A warm, determined, loving and affectionate atmosphere was all I could see, until I started to go to school. Just then my eyes started to open to the real world that I was living in and was suppose to have a future in. When I was applying for honors middle schools in Iran, I found out that a Muslim boy had an advantage over me, a Zoroastrian girl, for getting into that school. I realized that I am trying to achieve my goals in a country which gender and religion are the two primary aspects that determine succession. Living in that disadvantaged, despair condition not only made me more passionate about my dreams but helped me to get to a place where I could be advantageous. It was that time, when my family realized despite my skills, Iran was not the country that I could succeed in, so we moved to United States in the year 2007.
Although coming to United States my world changed, but aspiration stated the same; My desire to become a helpful individual, my interest in the world of science and medicine, and my ambition to become a Dentist. I had watched my mom working in her office as a dermatologist and my dad working in a hospital as a physical therapist, but none of those jobs were as amazing to me as when I shadowed Dr.Zakeri, an Orthodontist, work with patients to give them a beautiful smile. And now that I am in this country and have the opportunity, I want to peruse this dream.
This is my first draft to answer the prompt Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Did i answer the question? How can i make it better?
I am a descendant of Cyrus the Great who was the creator of the first declaration of human rights. I am from the world where I have seen the beauty, despair, betrayal, and glory. I was raised in a place where it has been the shade for travelers, conqueror, lords, and poor. I am from a generation that has only heard about peace and greatness in Iran, but has not seen it by its own eyes; a generation that is hungry to be recognized and have a positive impact on the world. I am one of the few fortunate young passionate students, that has got educated parents, to shape her aspirations and give it a pleasant color by sacrificing and coming to the land of opportunities and dreams.
I was my parent's first and only child. At home, I was living in a perfect world that could be the dream of many children. A warm, determined, loving and affectionate atmosphere was all I could see, until I started to go to school. Just then my eyes started to open to the real world that I was living in and was suppose to have a future in. When I was applying for honors middle schools in Iran, I found out that a Muslim boy had an advantage over me, a Zoroastrian girl, for getting into that school. I realized that I am trying to achieve my goals in a country which gender and religion are the two primary aspects that determine succession. Living in that disadvantaged, despair condition not only made me more passionate about my dreams but helped me to get to a place where I could be advantageous. It was that time, when my family realized despite my skills, Iran was not the country that I could succeed in, so we moved to United States in the year 2007.
Although coming to United States my world changed, but aspiration stated the same; My desire to become a helpful individual, my interest in the world of science and medicine, and my ambition to become a Dentist. I had watched my mom working in her office as a dermatologist and my dad working in a hospital as a physical therapist, but none of those jobs were as amazing to me as when I shadowed Dr.Zakeri, an Orthodontist, work with patients to give them a beautiful smile. And now that I am in this country and have the opportunity, I want to peruse this dream.
