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Posts by fernhead1
Joined: Nov 24, 2010
Last Post: Nov 24, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Brazil

Displayed posts: 2
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fernhead1   
Nov 24, 2010
Undergraduate / Freestyling in Brazil: UC Prompt 2 [2]

This is awesome, I'm actually from Brazil and I loved hearing your experience there.
Your essay got me curious about what dancing ministry you were involved with, were you down there with YWAM?
You have good diction and I feel you can take advantage of that in your writing and being careful not to clutter your words, just say what you have to say.

Example: Your last paragraph, you don't need to mention that the experience meant alot to you, you can jump right into the action saying something like, "Getting over my stage fright revealed to me that in order to improve certain aspects in life, boldness is required."

Hope this helped a little.

PS: Read the essay I just wrote! It's called, "Let's go to America!" and tell me what you think (:
fernhead1   
Nov 24, 2010
Undergraduate / Let's go to America! (my knowledge of the American culture began to expand) [3]

People say that experience is the best teacher, and I believe this is true. I remember the first time I came to America, I was only 8 years old and very shy. Although I had to change some of my customs of daily living I was very excited to go to a new country. I was eager to see snow for the first time, make new friends, and eat American food. The one custom I found most challenging was learning a new language.

A month after I arrived in America, I began second grade where I had a terrible experience. My teacher, who was not conscious about my situation, asked me to answer a few questions in front of the class. As she began to question me, I froze and could not answer her. I was afraid make a mistake in front of the class because I wasn't prepared and I didn't know the language very well. When I arrived at home I began to cry because of the embarrassing experience I had. The next day, my parents met with my teacher and explained that I had just come to America and that I was having difficulties learning the language. From that day, my teacher understood my situation and spent extra time helping me understand the language. After that, my knowledge of the American culture began to expand as I spent time going to the library, visiting tourist sites, seeing monuments of historical people and events. The more I experienced the culture, the more the language became exciting and less overwhelming.

Coming to America was a complete education experience for me. I learned to respect other ways of life, adapt to a new culture, change my habits, my eating styles, and became familiar with the language better than if I was at my country.

By Fernanda Ribeiro
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