fernhead1
Nov 24, 2010
Undergraduate / Freestyling in Brazil: UC Prompt 2 [2]
This is awesome, I'm actually from Brazil and I loved hearing your experience there.
Your essay got me curious about what dancing ministry you were involved with, were you down there with YWAM?
You have good diction and I feel you can take advantage of that in your writing and being careful not to clutter your words, just say what you have to say.
Example: Your last paragraph, you don't need to mention that the experience meant alot to you, you can jump right into the action saying something like, "Getting over my stage fright revealed to me that in order to improve certain aspects in life, boldness is required."
Hope this helped a little.
PS: Read the essay I just wrote! It's called, "Let's go to America!" and tell me what you think (:
This is awesome, I'm actually from Brazil and I loved hearing your experience there.
Your essay got me curious about what dancing ministry you were involved with, were you down there with YWAM?
You have good diction and I feel you can take advantage of that in your writing and being careful not to clutter your words, just say what you have to say.
Example: Your last paragraph, you don't need to mention that the experience meant alot to you, you can jump right into the action saying something like, "Getting over my stage fright revealed to me that in order to improve certain aspects in life, boldness is required."
Hope this helped a little.
PS: Read the essay I just wrote! It's called, "Let's go to America!" and tell me what you think (: