Romana101
Nov 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "Of Pakistani heritage, going to an American college" - Rutgers Application Essay [2]
please edit the essay and be a critical as possible, the essay prompt is:
Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.
Communities are truly complete when they have a rainbow of cultures shining over them. Throughout my life I have learned that the mere presence of the diversity of cultures is not enough, the cultures must coexist and share their fascinating rituals, intriguing history, captivating traditions, delicious cuisines, and stimulating religions. Being an immigrant I did not naturally fit in with the rest of the school kids I was picked as a child for my "weirdness" this was very upsetting I would cry and wish I was like rest of the kids. But as I grew I came to understand that I was not weird, just different, and the other kids needed to recognize this, thus I decided no longer would I sit there and take their harsh comments I would explain my beautiful Pakistani heritage. Our quick comments about me turned to discussions about our backgrounds which eventually blossomed to friendship. They would ask me questions about my culture to which I did not have the answers, their interest in my culture showed me how little I knew of my culture and religion, how little I know myself. I went to my parents the library and the internet, and finally knew what it meant to be a Pakistani American. The comfort I felt was amazing. I went from being a social outcast to socially active, it was not enough just for me to feel this I needed to spread the awareness, hence I attempting to start the Carteret culture club, in this club students would share their cultural backgrounds, stories of their homeland, and celebrate holidays as whole not as separate clicks. My principle loved the idea but unfortunately our school did not have the financial aid to fund this club. But this situation did not stop me from fulfilling my need to understand the other around me. Every chance I get to learn about a new culture I take it.
The vibrant community at Rutgers University will benefit me in numerous ways. America is a great country; it is one of the only in which you could find every nationality, so it would be fitting that an American would go to a college that as many the backgrounds. Upon exiting the university I would have learned to work with many types of people, which is a pivotal skill in the job world.
please edit the essay and be a critical as possible, the essay prompt is:
Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.
Communities are truly complete when they have a rainbow of cultures shining over them. Throughout my life I have learned that the mere presence of the diversity of cultures is not enough, the cultures must coexist and share their fascinating rituals, intriguing history, captivating traditions, delicious cuisines, and stimulating religions. Being an immigrant I did not naturally fit in with the rest of the school kids I was picked as a child for my "weirdness" this was very upsetting I would cry and wish I was like rest of the kids. But as I grew I came to understand that I was not weird, just different, and the other kids needed to recognize this, thus I decided no longer would I sit there and take their harsh comments I would explain my beautiful Pakistani heritage. Our quick comments about me turned to discussions about our backgrounds which eventually blossomed to friendship. They would ask me questions about my culture to which I did not have the answers, their interest in my culture showed me how little I knew of my culture and religion, how little I know myself. I went to my parents the library and the internet, and finally knew what it meant to be a Pakistani American. The comfort I felt was amazing. I went from being a social outcast to socially active, it was not enough just for me to feel this I needed to spread the awareness, hence I attempting to start the Carteret culture club, in this club students would share their cultural backgrounds, stories of their homeland, and celebrate holidays as whole not as separate clicks. My principle loved the idea but unfortunately our school did not have the financial aid to fund this club. But this situation did not stop me from fulfilling my need to understand the other around me. Every chance I get to learn about a new culture I take it.
The vibrant community at Rutgers University will benefit me in numerous ways. America is a great country; it is one of the only in which you could find every nationality, so it would be fitting that an American would go to a college that as many the backgrounds. Upon exiting the university I would have learned to work with many types of people, which is a pivotal skill in the job world.
