Undergraduate / "Tell me what you know about math." - Common App Personal Essay [5]

"We are here now!" Feng exclaimed as he disembarked on his motorcycle.
The sun was setting behind the hills while I relished the view of the countryside. I anticipated to spending my summer without my parents or any relatives for the first time. I was going to spend the rest of the summer with Feng, who was a total stranger to me and had just completed his Bachelor's degree, and his family. He would teach me math every morning and I would work in his orchard in the afternoon paying for tuition. Little did I know that this summer of ours would become an influential lesson in life about perseverance.

"Tell me what you know about math." This was my first class with Feng. Honestly, I didn't know much about math. In spite of attempted to recall what my math teacher taught when I first went to math class, I couldn't remember anything but numbers, which I told Feng. After I opened my textbook, he started teaching me from Lesson One, yet I didn't comprehend what he was talking about. I would be the most demanding student he had ever had since, as a seventh grader, I needed to begin from fourth-grade material.

I was discouraged and reconsidered the whole situation, seeing that I had already "failed" many times. Dissimilarly, I realized Feng had not abandoned me. He taught me those lessons with attractive perseverance: he kept correcting me even though I had made the same mistake several times which made me feel I was worth his effort. Being a character of tenacity and determination, I pressed on.

"I need to find the height first, then use... I should calculate m first, then plugging into the equation and find b..." I could hear my heart beating as loudly as the drum in an Indian pow wow.

And then I did it! Just like that, I finally solved the practice problems all by myself. Me, vigorous, hearty and vital, extremely energetic, right in my head.

That was the first time I experienced what success felt like in my life, also how my confidence was raised. When I got back to school, my classmates were amazed that I performed well on math tests. I had gradually developed my interest in solving math problems as there would only be one answer for any question, yet there were many measures in solving it. When people asked me how I transformed from not knowing math to enjoying it, perseverance was the answer.

Incredibly, now I'm a math tutor in my high school. After transiting from a person who struggled in math to a person who tutoring students, I have realized math can offer more than just knowledge to people. As a tutor, I perceive I have to be more preserved than everyone: my job is performing my perseverance as well as instructing it. Solving mathematical problems is more likely dealing with our life: there is not ending for our ambitions; in order to accomplish our ambitions, we have to perseverate.

This summer lasted less than two months, but was a turning point in my life. I learned of perseverance from this crucial lesson; I can do anything. This experience taught me to have confidence in myself, without getting discouraged by any difficulties. Life always brings great challenges; I have to meet them with perseverance. That is the one way I will overcome.

This is the essay that I have. Can someone please help me edit it and tell me what I need to add? It's only 500 words.

Thank you :)