Leenansmile
Dec 17, 2010
Undergraduate / "The Greatness" - The dream of achieving the greatness [3]
Hi everyone, please help me with the personal statement. Thanks! I'm very not good at grammar and sentence structure. :(
The Greatness
When was a child, I loved any enormous things: castles, statues, and pyramids... Their magnificence always made me an extraordinarily elated felling. The adoration of the Greatness began to germinate in my mind serenely, but it inspired me strongly and lastingly. Looking at the toy cars of other children, I wished that I could have one. But my family was poor, so my childhood deeply attached to the board toys made by myself. I made any things I like from cars, houses to palaces and castle. Each day, I decorated and coddled them as a girl took care of her dolls. Although my palaces were only deformed models, I still dreamed that someday there would be a miracle to make them become real ones, and no one but I was their owner.
Time passed. Influenced by the chronicle film of Chinese, I gradually recognized that the Greatness is not found in the material but the abstract - the power. It seems crazy but I must admit that I loved ancient wars, which my dad called the "exceptional game" that has no rule, no limitation, and the winner of game is the strongest and greatest. And I shaped new dream of becoming a conqueror like Alexander or Xiang Yu. I wrote on all my books and notebooks "Tien Nam the Great" and was very proud of this appellation. I still remember how enthusiastic I felt when my dad presented me the book "the Art of War" by Sun Tzu. Touching the book and moving each page, I read and I read and read although knowing it was tough for a 7th grade student. My spirit buoyed up with the pride that I was taking the first step in conquering the Greatness.
Leaving home, I confidently entered high school in the city as the young knight enthusiastically started off to find the kingdom of Greatness. And the glorious days introduced to me quickly but sarcastically - Age of Empire, the paradise of gamer: Age of Empire - where you lead a misty tribe to become a powerful empire and begin the ceaseless invasion, Age of Empire - where you show your talent of managing the economy and commanding the army, Age of Empire - where the legends of Roman Legions and Greek Hoplites wake up and crush any enemies. And right now, when I'm writing these lines, there is a literal tremble run along my body to my toes, and my mind is being filled with the ecstatic feeling when reminiscing about the moments I obtained wonderful reward for the champion: the image of conqueror lift up the sword to celebrate the victory on the tune of the song of triumph. I blindly chased of that glory throughout two years until my feet were wearied. I realized it is only a mirage... I lost the way. Afraid and ashamed when must concede the bitter truth, the young knight resolved to leave the verdant oasis and came back to find the kingdom of Greatness although seeing that in front of him was the vast desert.
Thanks to the costly lesson because it bring me the solid confidence but not old susceptible one. I continue the trek and might fall more, but I don't fear because I fell once. I understand that now the Greatness cannot be found in the battle-field but the political arena. Now, my idols are not only the conquerors like Alexander and Caesar but also Ho Chi Minh and Meiji. Following their footsteps, I am trying my best in order to study abroad to expand my knowledge. I will become a statesman and continue to write my story of the Greatness.
Hi everyone, please help me with the personal statement. Thanks! I'm very not good at grammar and sentence structure. :(
The Greatness
When was a child, I loved any enormous things: castles, statues, and pyramids... Their magnificence always made me an extraordinarily elated felling. The adoration of the Greatness began to germinate in my mind serenely, but it inspired me strongly and lastingly. Looking at the toy cars of other children, I wished that I could have one. But my family was poor, so my childhood deeply attached to the board toys made by myself. I made any things I like from cars, houses to palaces and castle. Each day, I decorated and coddled them as a girl took care of her dolls. Although my palaces were only deformed models, I still dreamed that someday there would be a miracle to make them become real ones, and no one but I was their owner.
Time passed. Influenced by the chronicle film of Chinese, I gradually recognized that the Greatness is not found in the material but the abstract - the power. It seems crazy but I must admit that I loved ancient wars, which my dad called the "exceptional game" that has no rule, no limitation, and the winner of game is the strongest and greatest. And I shaped new dream of becoming a conqueror like Alexander or Xiang Yu. I wrote on all my books and notebooks "Tien Nam the Great" and was very proud of this appellation. I still remember how enthusiastic I felt when my dad presented me the book "the Art of War" by Sun Tzu. Touching the book and moving each page, I read and I read and read although knowing it was tough for a 7th grade student. My spirit buoyed up with the pride that I was taking the first step in conquering the Greatness.
Leaving home, I confidently entered high school in the city as the young knight enthusiastically started off to find the kingdom of Greatness. And the glorious days introduced to me quickly but sarcastically - Age of Empire, the paradise of gamer: Age of Empire - where you lead a misty tribe to become a powerful empire and begin the ceaseless invasion, Age of Empire - where you show your talent of managing the economy and commanding the army, Age of Empire - where the legends of Roman Legions and Greek Hoplites wake up and crush any enemies. And right now, when I'm writing these lines, there is a literal tremble run along my body to my toes, and my mind is being filled with the ecstatic feeling when reminiscing about the moments I obtained wonderful reward for the champion: the image of conqueror lift up the sword to celebrate the victory on the tune of the song of triumph. I blindly chased of that glory throughout two years until my feet were wearied. I realized it is only a mirage... I lost the way. Afraid and ashamed when must concede the bitter truth, the young knight resolved to leave the verdant oasis and came back to find the kingdom of Greatness although seeing that in front of him was the vast desert.
Thanks to the costly lesson because it bring me the solid confidence but not old susceptible one. I continue the trek and might fall more, but I don't fear because I fell once. I understand that now the Greatness cannot be found in the battle-field but the political arena. Now, my idols are not only the conquerors like Alexander and Caesar but also Ho Chi Minh and Meiji. Following their footsteps, I am trying my best in order to study abroad to expand my knowledge. I will become a statesman and continue to write my story of the Greatness.
