Posts by darkdiva65

darkdiva65

Dec 13, 2010

Undergraduate / "the varsity gymnastics team" - Extra curricular activity on common app. [3]

There's a lot of rewording you could do and you repeat a lot of words like 'at the start' and 'in the beginning'. You also have some sentence fragments as well. Just try to rewrite again. There are also times when you use a comma that you could have used another word like 'and', or 'but'. Just my two cents.

darkdiva65

Dec 13, 2010

Research Papers / Princess Mononoke and Shintoism Paper ( thesis feedback) [2]

Hi, I'd like some input on this thesis statement for my research paper on Princess Mononoke and Shintoism. Thanks in advance.

Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke reflects many aspects of Shintoism, including the 'Four Affirmations of Shinto': importance of the Kami, respect for nature, the concept of purity, and the importance of family and traditions; while also containing references which will help the viewer better visualize past and present Shinto concepts, history, and historical conflicts.

Paper Instructions:
3,000 to 3,600 words in the body of the paper (appx. 10-12 pages). Write word count at end of document.
Citation system: your choice, but Chicago or Harvard preferred. Be consistent and correct.
Proper in-text citations, footnotes or endnotes.
Bibliography.
Page numbers, your name in header on each page.
Cover page or first page header with the following information: your name, course, date, instructor, title of paper.