Graduate / Muskie SOP "MBA in Supply Chain Management" [4]

I would fix the non-idiomatic English here, as the writing often feels awkward. Here is an sample of the type of revision I would recommend:

"It is no small wonder that Supply Chain Management (SCM) has already become a key component of business strategy and a primary factor in cost optimization. Moreover, in the car manufacturing industry, the role of SCM will be doubled due to the material flow throughout the chain."

Best,
Martin F.
Harvard Square Essays Editing Consultant

Graduate / "Nature's revenge + Travel to Angola" - Significant event of my life - MBA essay [3]

I would combine more sentences here, as the writing often feels abrupt and stilted. Here is an sample of the type of revision I would recommend:

"Nature's wrath during Hurricane Ike unraveled the lives of thousands of people, as many, including myself, were evacuated from their homes with nothing to hold onto but their their lives. My friend and I left Houston in a torrid panic, hitting the road without any definite destination..."

Best,
Martin F.
Harvard Square Essays Editing Consultant

Essays / "A New Beginning" - Common App essay [11]

Dear Belal,

I don't do complete essay revisions here, but I've edited your introduction below. It now reads with a greater sense of poetry and dramatic tension:

"The kite danced in the sky just above my outstretched fingers, and for a moment I felt lighter than air. But this illusion was merely ephemeral: suddenly the ground was getting closer and closer, as the air was sucked out of my lungs, and it became harder and harder for me to breathe..."

Sincerely,
Martin F.

Graduate / SOP (Sweden - applying in master of accounting and auditing) [2]

You want to improve the flow of your essay, and a good way to do this is by combining sentences into more eloquent, fluid phrasings. To demonstrate this, I have revised your opening sentence to read as follows:

"Accounting is a fundamental part of our way of life, as people in every corner of the world -- subconsciously or consciously -- use the principles of accounting in their personal and professional lives."

Sincerely,
Martin F.
Harvard Sq. Essays Editor

Graduate / SOP for Ph.D. in Economics: "motivating and challenging" [4]

I am guessing from your writing that English is not your first language. You want to be very careful about trying to use diction that is excessively ornate if you are not comfortable with it. You want your writing to flow seamlessly and feel completely natural. To demonstrate this, I have revised your first paragraph to read as follows:

"At first glance, my academic interests may appear disconnected and perhaps even aimless: I am a mathematics student who has researched Austrian economics as well as philosophy, in addition to working as a journalist. I have found, however, that these myriad fields actually complement each other in fascinating ways. My academic career has been shaped by these wide-ranging interests, which have led me on a constantly evolving odyssey of intellectual curiosity."

Sincerely,
Martin F.
Harvard Sq. Essays Editor