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Posts by Cynthia
Joined: Dec 21, 2010
Last Post: Dec 21, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: China

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Cynthia   
Dec 21, 2010
Graduate / Do the experiences written in my personal statement reveal my academic ability? [4]

Thank u for revising it so soon. and to be honest. I'm considering that the 6th para. lacks some specific examples to illustrate my feelings. maybe it's better to add some details to it. what's your advise?

Since it's so late in China(almost 1:00), I gonna sleep for several hours. ttu 2morrow.``
good night` ^^
Cynthia   
Dec 21, 2010
Graduate / Do the experiences written in my personal statement reveal my academic ability? [4]

Hi, I'm Cynthia~I'm a chinese girl and I'm a new comer of Essayforum. I hope someone could help me to revise my PS for application of graduate education. My major is music performance and now I wanna change to study in communication which centers on the field of advertising. How could this personal statement better reveal my potential power in study advertising? and I know there are nonnative expressions in my paper.. so can anyone help me?` thanks very much.!

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In the past four years of my university, I had many opportunities to have close interaction with Media, and I was fascinated by it. The strong interest has led me to pursue a career in Media, especially advertising. Your university is among the most prominent ones in the United States and also enjoys a high reputation overseas. The opportunity to continue further study at your distinguished university will be an indispensable and an invaluable factor on my road to success.

In terms of interest in advertising, it has to track back to my second year at university. In the summer holiday of that year, I was helping my aunt to hand out leaflets to promote her newly opened hair salon. Since she urgently needed to get more customers and reduce cost, I was volunteering to do this job for her in different blocks of our city. Unfortunately, the result was not quite satisfactory. I have recognized that although there were a large number of leaflets handed out, most people have thrown them away. Having failed to bear the sweltering weather on that day, I eventually fainted after two hours standing on the street. The first thought I had after waking up was to learn the knowledge of advertising in order to find out the most effective means of publicity. Keeping this in mind, I have decided to study the related subjects of advertising, such as advertising management and operation. Because there are several outstanding subjects in advertising at your university, getting admission to your university is my top choice.

In my four year academic career, I have had a wide range of contact with advertising. First of all, I believe studying advertising could benefit me in different ways, like gaining media planning, communication and information processing skills. Thus, I have taken two advertising related subjects as my elective classes in the Communication & Literature College of my university. They were Advertising Psychology and Photographic Art Appreciation. Regarding the Advertising Psychology, the main research involves the advertising-related principles of mental activity and focusing on the psychological process of customers. As to the Photographic Art Appreciation, the key part is to appreciate large amounts of pieces of works in advertising photography, in order to enhance our perception of art and aesthetic value. Apart from that, our professor spent several lessons discussing market strategy which is concealed in some photography of classic advertisement. Learning these two courses lead to my increasing interest in advertising as well as some relevant knowledge.

Secondly, I have experience with matters related to advertising publicity. In my second year of university, an annual basketball game was held during April. I was the charger of the basketball team and publicity committee of our class, one day I was notified that our basketball team players have always passed the ball on to our opponents by mistake. Through careful observation, I have found out the simple reason was that they were wearing similar shirts to the opponents, which has confused them. Immediately, I thought of an idea to deal with this problem. I tried to get sponsorship from the sports store located on the back gate of our university. During that period, it had rather poor sales. Being explained to repeatedly about what kind of profit and effect could be brought from sponsoring our game, the store manager finally agreed. It turned out the sales dramatically increased by the publicity of the basketball game. Another experience is also necessary to be mentioned. When working as a cell phone card sales agent on campus for China Mobile Corporation, I was frustrated by selling few cards during the first day. Then I realized there were other competitors who have occupied my potential customers, I came up with an idea which was I would provide daily necessities of configuration service when students bought my cards, so that they could save the time. Consequently, I had successfully defeated my opponents and recaptured my sales markets.

While focusing on my academic knowledge, I participated in numerous extracurricular activities in my university. On the one hand, I'm a major in Piano Performance, persistent interest and passion was the key motivation for my adhering to the piano for more than thirteen years since I was seven years old. Besides, I have attended drama acting classes. Instead of working alone, we were always required to discuss topics together and were divided into several groups to finish an assigned short drama in each class. This kind of learning method has taught me how to cooperate with other people and thus to be a qualified team member. On the other hand, I was worked for our School Television during which I have played and organized many stage plays of the Drama Group. In addition, being rewarded by the English Speech Committee and with many piano performances at School Art Troupe on various occasions are impressive and significant memories for me, which largely enriched my four years' university life. In a word, all these precious experiences have enabled me to broaden my circles of friends, and at the same time improve my interpersonal skills.

Apart from taking part in many school extracurricular activities, an internship at CCTV (China Central Television) has benefited me a great deal. Although I have to deal with all kinds of little things, I learnt a lot from every day's work. This meaningful experience has not only enriched my life, but also enhanced my work experience and abilities. Being genuine was the first thing I have learnt when I started this job. The first time I walked in the office and saw many strange faces, instead of being nervous and quiet I said hello to everyone with a genuine smile on my face. In response I received everyone's warm welcome and sincere help. I realized that it was my genuine personality that won over my colleagues' trust so that they were willing to work and share their experience with me. The second key part was to communicate with people. I recognized that it was necessary to communicate with your team leader who can have a good understanding of you in order to improve working skills based on your abilities. For example, my supervisor has instructed me with specific guidance and gave me help according to my interests. At the end, I had a grasp of practical experience which showed the true value of knowledge I have learnt. Finally, being active was the third point I have picked up through this internship. At the beginning, I was not active as the other interns who always asked for jobs instead of waiting for assignments. Afterwards, I sought every chance to assist the supervisor and all the opportunities to gain work experience. It has been proven that during this internship, my colleagues and supervisor were pleased to guide me so that I acquired enormous work experience.

There is another unusual thing has made me mature which had taken place during the time I was working at School Television. It began when Mrs. Li, who was the leader of the broadcasting station, asked us to compose a new song for a special program since only four students were majoring in Music at our TV station. My best friend Alice had luckily become the candidate of this competition and her music had been highly praised by Mrs. Li. However, after listening to its melody several times, I realized that some parts of her music were the same as the opening tune of <Pathetique Sonata> from Beethoven. After confirming with some of my classmates, I was certain that Alice had a suspicion of plagiarism. Under these circumstances, I fell into a dilemma and had to make a choice between hiding the truth for the sake of our friendship and revealing the fact with the risk of putting the relationship into the end. Through long and difficult consideration, I called Alice and told her about the situation. To my surprise, she decided to withdraw from this event at the end. Fortunately for me, Alice understood my concern. From this, I comprehend how difficult it is to make a choice between friendship and morals, and I firmly believe that people have to stand in the middle of the scale rather than leaning towards any side of it.

To reiterate, I am confident that I have full preparation for postgraduate education at your esteemed university and your favorable consideration will be highly appreciated.



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