Undergraduate / "to go for a trip without any of my family members" - Michigan State admission [5]

Hi there! I have a problem about the admission essay of Michigan State University. The topic that I chose is "Briefly discuss an activity or organization that you have participated in or are currently participating in outside of your own cultural group". I have started part of it as below. Can someone please give me some opinion about the content of the essay? Does it suitable for the topic?

I never expected that I would have the opportunity to go for a trip without any of my family members. It was year 2007, when I was 16 years of age. The church that I currently attended was organizing a mission trip. The destination of the trip was a place called Long Si Ang. It was an interior area that is located in Baram District, Sarawak. The main residents were all come from Penan tribe, which was different from my own cultural group. I have been yearning to go for a trip that is full with excitement, adventures and cultural experience. I had a very strong interest to participate in this mission trip so I told the pastor in charged about my final decision. So, my journey started!

The preparation works were trivial and tiring. However, because of the cooperation of all the trip members, we managed to finish prepared all the things that we would needed during the trip. The progress was meaningful for me as I had learnt to mix and deal with people that were not from my age group. The mission trip was made up of thirteen members. Some of them were mature adults and some of them were just few years older than me. Therefore, inevitably, disagreements might be occurred due to the different ideas that we generated. Yet, from this experience I had learnt how to get along with others after we tried to tolerate with each other.

After our toilsome and long-time preparation, the trip was officially started. The residents there were very excited to see us. Most of them were not educated and they only could communicate with their own language. Luckily, there was a pastor named Pastor Moni, who could understand Penan language and willing to become the translator for us. Everything was going smoothly. We had carried out activities like worshiping, playing games, making artworks and many other interesting activities. Besides, we also helped them to do some self-hygiene works such as removing the fleas on their hairs, cutting nails, cleaning wounds and teach them to brush teeth.

Apart from that, I also had the chance to learn their language! I found out that how interesting to learn the language other than my own native language. Furthermore, I had learnt some Penan songs. I was so pleased that the resident who taught us to sing was so patient that even we had so many errors in the pronunciation. At the last day, we set up campfire as the farewell. All of us enjoyed the final moments together. The climax of the night was not other than the dancing part. A granny had a whim to show us their traditional dance. We had a lot of fun by dancing and taking pictures with them.

The trip lasted for five days. Although all of us were extremely exhausted after that, we were satisfied. Personally, I gained a lot of experience from this unique trip. This was my first time to travel to a place without the companion of my family members. Outside from home, I have to do things by myself. I learnt to be more independent. Besides, I learnt to get along with people from different cultures as well. I was thinking that these positive values that I had learnt would be very useful for my future life. Facts have proved that my idea was right. Now, I have the opportunity to study abroad. I believe that the past experience that I had gained before would be so much useful during my college life. I think that the cultural difference would not be a big problem for me.

I really appreciate for your help!!!