Undergraduate / "Whenever someone shuts the door..." - Common App Essay Help [3]

"not that I would ever admit it if he were the former" <-- this seems slightly convoluted. Perhaps something like "not that I would ever admit the former"?

"I discussed my meager upbringing by a single mother and grandmother and he relayed that he, too came from a similar background. " If you were reading this out loud you'd insert a pause between "he" and "too", but I do not think that a comma belongs.

Good essay.