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Posts by ifilm4life81321
Joined: Dec 26, 2010
Last Post: Dec 26, 2010
Threads: 1
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From: United States of America

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ifilm4life81321   
Dec 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "My hands show me" - PERSONAL STATEMENT [3]

I'm not sure what this essay is in response to. However, I was thrilled by your opening paragraph. I liked the point you were making and it seemed as though you were headed in a direction regarding art. However you then veer off to speak about your work with the Nation Honor Society. I know that it's recommended that things listed on your common app, ie a position held etc, shouldn't be discussed in a common app essay. What you were discussing regarding your hands certainly went off on the beyond the App personal level- but this was then brought down by the relation to the National Honor Society. I find your artistic background far more interesting to be honest however I see how your success with NHS is far more rewarding personally. I would pick one of the two, and stick with it. Bouncing between them both confused me- set me back a bit. I could not determine what you were striving to prove.
ifilm4life81321   
Dec 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "responsibility to make a better world for our elders, our selves, and us"-Common App [2]

This is my University of Chicago essay for the prompt Find X. However, I have intended to adapt the essay to be my common app essay simply by removing the specifics to U-Chicago. Can anyone let me know if this essay will work in any fashion- for U Chicago OR the Common App- I'm worried it's cliche/not personal enough. Any advice by someone familiar with admissions would be VERY helpful.

My generation knows that it is our responsibility to make a better world for our elders, our selves, and our children. We have been raised in a world torn by environmental destruction, economic disparity and religious zealotry, yet we have an unbreakable sense of optimism for the future. We are not naive. We have a firm grasp of our own potential. With the gusto and energy of youth, we are firmly set on making our world one of which we can be proud. But, while we are steadfast in our dedication to create a better world, we are not yet able to accomplish the task.

To succeed in the long run, we must start our work now. "Yes we can" energized a new political activism, and embodied the disposition of our generation as a whole. Many of us have begun to take action, but our work reveals that the problems surrounding us do not directly impact us now. Global warming, the AIDS epidemic, economic stagnation; these problems are viewed as immediate global threats however their repercussions will not reach my generation until many years from now. As we have raced through life, busy with our studies and our development, the world has raced by us and we have had little time to comprehend the severity of events around us. We know that the events currently unfolding will determine the course of our future, but we feel powerless to fix them.

As youth activists, we see that the power to actually solve our problems lies in the hands of highly educated, experienced citizens. We plan to one day attain these very qualities so that we too may have the power to instate effective solutions. Until then, we must act in an indirect manner, finding solutions to global problems through community action; thinking globally but acting locally. Many of us have achieved successful change on a community level and such an accomplishment is, to any youth activist, invigorating and rewarding. However our successes are not reflected in the problems we seek to fix. I brought solar power to my school, but this success was not met with similar efforts from utility companies. As a town council intern, I opened a youth center, but I cannot say that the same was done in more needy communities. I helped bring reusable bags to my town to reduce plastic use, but we were forced to purchase them from China. I participated in the Baxter State Park Youth Wilderness Leadership Program, and learned of conservation efforts within the park, but I know that every hour, more than 6000 acres of rainforest are lost to industry. I have worked to my fullest potential, but I cannot yet work on a larger than local level. For us to bring true improvement, we must each find the calling that enables us to act globally. Having the energy and the optimism to try is essential, but that alone is not enough to realize world wide change.

As we enter into the realm of higher education, employment, and full citizenship, we will each do so on our own terms. I have unearthed my own passion for environmental activism, political awareness, and business strategy as a youth activist and have had the invaluable opportunity to achieve success on a large scale within my community. However I feel that these successes receive extraordinary support simply because I am a youth working among adults. This advantage will not support me indefinitely. As I transition from high school into my role as an active citizen, my life will be wrought with challenges. I must seek out the trials that will transform my youthful image into the confident, prepared, capable presence I strive to evoke. It is this transformation that will ultimately enable me to achieve success unaided.

I know innately that it is my charge to help lead my generation to a better future. Only the best possible education will prepare me for such a task. A top rate liberal arts experience will transform me into a well rounded citizen capable of working on many levels. The academic environment of a university will surround me with like minded and similarly motivated individuals. For me, the University of Chicago is the variable x that will provide me the opportunity to become a citizen capable of over coming the challenges I face. The renown economics and political science departments provide a crucial education and understanding of the forces behind the world's issues. More important however, is the distinctive, intellectual environment of the University of Chicago. The love of learning fostered at there means that my academic curiosity will have the opportunity to grow exponentially. This highly motivated and cooperative atmosphere is comprised of the most brilliant students and it is here that I will develop the first of many relationships; essential to the success of my coming work.

The combination of excellent academics and a charged, intellectual atmosphere that defines the University of Chicago will, in turn, define me as an empowered leader and activist. As each of my peers finds their path to adulthood and activism, we will see an era of problems be replaced with an era of solutions. Our generation will usher in a new hope and a better future for our children. My work and dedication will no longer be defined by my youthfulness; it will stand for itself. I will be an educated, active citizen among many others. As fully educated, experienced and enabled individuals, we will have the power to achieve the change we are destined to create.
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