Posts by Robert King

Robert King

Dec 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "only few examples of career women" - supplement Mount Holyoke College [3]

Coming from conservative a country where there are only few career women because only some of the women dare to break the social norms and enter the so-called man's world, I, being a woman myself, definitely look upon Mount Holyoke as a place where I can learn and mature at the same time. (this sentense is too long and wordy, try to break into two or more sentence)

The curriculum of Liberal arts requires openness to innovative ideas, a willingness to learn and learning by arguing about any idea from multiple perspectives. Hence, Liberal arts requires much more than normal Nepali education.Because Mount Holyokeisa prominent liberal arts college with very rigorous academics which are beneficial for well rounded development, I chose Mount Holyoke.

Everyone lives with a dream and so do I ; I dream of transcending all odds and after four years at Holyoke, I believe, I will undeniably be closer to my goal. After attending the Weissman Center's Speaking, Arguing, and Writing Program class, I envision myself practising

the rest is pretty good
the passage is good and the second paragraph shows that you know the college well.
one advise: try to shorten your sentence and make it clear.
i don't think the AO would like to read essays like the ones in SAT of GRE.

thank you for editing mine.

Robert King

Dec 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "Devil in the Flesh by Raymond Radiguet" a book that has influenceed or inspired you. [2]

hey everyone, im new here.

could anybody take a look at my essay. i don't know whether i correctly answer the prompt. most important is the idea, if the idea is right, i will work on the grammar.

thanks in advance. btw, im a bad writer, although i pretend to be good. lol.

I never had glorious dream until that day, when I accidentally read a book called Devil in the Flesh by Raymond Radiguet. The book has changed my view to the world. I wonder how could there be such a book, which made me see a different world. From the book, I got the impression of France in the First World War, a place full of romance, trains with roses, wet rainy season, and most importantly, love.

In the first time, I sense the feeling of love and the beauty of words. I learned about ridicule, mockery, Don Juan, and the Flower of Evil. Since then I knew that word can convey the atmosphere and mood. And for a long time, I was indulging in the book, imaging that I was the protagonist in life. Never have I read a book written from the view of first person, I was amazed at its impact. Then, I and my cousin secretly founded a literature society called Raymond Society. And I created its logo with a lightening covered by red circle. I was so passionate that I thought I could have everything I wanted.

This autobiographical novel has changed my life. From then on, I began my "writing" career. But every time when I began with a nice paragraph, my brain went empty. Every time when I had a nice idea, I thought that an unprecedented work was coming; but when I reviewed what I wrote down, I realized that was just a piece of garbage in the bin. And I began to think what I need. Maybe I need sufferance. Most good writers suffered from poverty and then had first-hand experience. However, I have poor understanding for poverty. I try to stop eat less; because I think that hunger is the cultivating container of inspiration. I keep running, looking for the stimulation generated by ultimate sensory. But in the end, I suffer from the impact result by my stupid doing and became a helpless cynical person. And now, writing has become a huge weight in my body until I could not bear the feeling of unsuccessfulness and throw it totally away.

Now, I have become a science guy, busy with the complex mathematics problem and physics formula. From time to time, I would think about my childish dream sparked by a book. Writing now become vaguer by the wash time and it disappeared in my brain. And it become a memory, become my pastime, and become a chewing-gum, which I keep chewing and get no result.