Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by mayrooo
Joined: Dec 31, 2010
Last Post: Dec 31, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

Displayed posts: 4
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
mayrooo   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Essay on aging and growing older - Common App Essay [3]

I really don't get what your topic is but since it is common app I think I have an idea. You have to realize one thing is that you can write about your grandma but the main focus has to be YOU! Your telling me about your grandma and her condition and very slightly how you feel about it but it doesn't tell me anything about you at all. You write really well though. I enjoyed reading it.
mayrooo   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Pratt - When and how you became interested architecture (art too) [2]

I like your essay but I'm sorry for saying this, its just not that amazing. I didn't mean to offend you by saying that because some parts are good. Your essay is really all over the place! you have to write about how you became interested and this doesn't really show that. Your telling them about your teachers but you not talking about the exact moment it hit you 'I wanna be an architect'!

I like the second paragraph a lot! Its really honest. I love how you wrote about the different architecture and especially when you wrote 'I want to be part of that history' that was really good! I think you should still write a little more on how it has become a part of your life! Like what have you done thats related to architecture. I think the last line is really clichéd because if you write something like that you should always give a reason why? Everyone of the applicants is applying because they want to become an architect from Pratt but you have to tell the admissions guy reading your essay I wanna be an architect from Pratt because___________.

P.S if you get accepted into Pratt I hope to see you there!!!
mayrooo   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "Confessions Of An Over Anxious Teenager" - Common App General Essay [4]

I think the first paragraph is really good! but then when you start talking about yourself and your problems it kinda loses flow. Your paragraphs are too short. you can write the problem in the second paragraph, write how it effects your brother and why that effects you in the third paragraph, then write how u overcame it then in the last paragraph write your conclusion! I think the idea is really good though since its really personal!
mayrooo   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "to meet more different people in my life" - DIVERSITY [3]

We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they all have learned to live together in the same box. ~Robert Fulghum

I read these words on a board outside Sayreville Middle School every day. This not only expresses my love for crayons but it also describes how I see people around me. People often ask me how I can imagine my life as a box of crayons, but to me my theory makes perfect sense. In life you encounter people that are so different that they surpass your imagination and expectations, and it is because of these people that my life becomes colorful. Every person I meet is like a crayon, a new piece to my crayon box.

The Bedazzled Blue crayon is one of the smartest people in my collection. Mariam is the girl who is always at the top of the class, prepared to learn something new and have fun with it. We can be found in the library all the time, trying to make sense of what is written in our text books. She is the one that I studied with to achieve the grades that I have, staying up at night with mugs of coffee to keep us awake and the soft voice of Enrique Iglesias keeping us company. She has really taught me to work hard because in the end it never goes to waste.

Sana Rehman always is ready to laugh and socialize. This Yellow Banana Magic Scent crayon is passionate about meeting new people and getting to know more about them. We have made it a habit to sit next to a different person in school every day so that we can learn more about them. She is someone I can have fun with no matter what the situation. I am always laughing with her on absolutely everything. She has taught me to have fun with the little amount of life I have.

The Black crayon is the most essential one, the one that is worn out the most and always finishes first. It is with this person that my love for cooking developed. My mother has to be the best cook I know and she has taught me everything about food. Many people in Pakistan have forgotten old recipes and traditions of food but since my mother has learnt them she has passed them down to me. Besides the Pakistani cuisine, we always try out our own recipes. We can be found in the kitchen at 3 a.m. making Pakoras or even smelling herbs to see what possibilities there are for putting them in our recipes. The kitchen is my favorite place since there I can cook and also because there are always people from everywhere sitting in the kitchen, who have stories to tell and are always hungry for our food.

Every person in this world is different and they all have the ability to teach you something and shape up the person you are. Every single crayon in my little yellow and green box has made a huge impact on my life by doing the littlest things. I hope to meet more different people in my life so that I learn new things and my life becomes a kaleidoscope of colors.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳