Undergraduate / What would you dissolve and which solvent would you use? [2]

The University of Chicago's essay prompt asks:

Salt, governments, beliefs, and celebrity couples are a few examples of things that can be dissolved. You've just been granted the power to dissolve anything: physical, metaphorical, abstract, concrete...you name it. What do you dissolve, and what solvent do you use?

Last year, when a classmate asked me to be his girlfriend, my immediate response was simply "no." When he asked me why, I replied "I barely know you." It was true. He was in two of my classes but I don't recall ever having a conversation with him that was not through Facebook nor text messaging. After I rejected him, he made the effort to try and get to know me better. As soon as the questions began moving from inane topics like favorite colors or foods to deeper questions about my goals in life, I was immediately taken aback and proceeded to answer around the question, change the subject, or avoid the question completely.

At first, he described me as being mysterious, an enigma. I took his comments as compliments. As time went by, he said I was too proud and had a wall up which kept people away. These comments I did not find as flattering.

Apparently his criticisms had a profound impact on me. The more I thought about what he said, the more I began thinking it was true. My inability to form relationships was not just limited to romantic relationships but to platonic ones as well. I realized that the closest friends I ever had were those I had made in elementary school and by now communication with them had ceased. My "friends" I made in high school were not much more than classmates because they really knew nothing about me. The people I feel closest to are my immediate family members and not even they knew much about me.

Although my ego did not let me admit it, I knew he was right; I did have a wall up. In an effort to try and prove him wrong and perhaps bring my wall down, I began allowing him to know more about me. Eventually, there came a point when I felt like he knew too much so I began avoiding him altogether. My wall which I thought had slowly been coming down was suddenly up a stronger than before. I began having this mentality in which I told myself I did not need friends, a boyfriend, or anyone.

Since then, I have been trying to bring this wall down. I wish I knew what solvent I could use to dissolve my wall. If only it was as simple as smashing through with it using a sledgehammer just like the Berlin Wall. I feel as though I am East Berlin and my "Berlin" wall is keeping me away from the rest of the world. For now, the only feasible solvent seems to be time.