Posts by junerosie

junerosie

Jan 12, 2011

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: small town has some advantages such as healthy life and better facilities [4]

I think your writing is sufficient enough. However, you shouldn't have put so many ideas into the introductory paragraph in order not to overlap with the following paragraphs.

Secondly, the first sentence of the second para, I think you shouldn't use the phrase "because of" because it usually carries negative meanings.

Thirdly, the central idea of the third para is "low living costs", not just living cost.

Hope this will help :D When will you sit TOEFL test? Mine is Jan 30th =.=

junerosie

Jan 11, 2011

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Smoking in restaurants should not be permitted, agree or disagree? [4]

Thank you vaishali1980 for your help.

However, except for my mistake of "lose" and "prefer to", I have no problem with the others.

In order not to do something

to be allergic to something.

Those are what I've learned in 11 years :D

I find more worried about the idea development anyway.

junerosie

Jan 10, 2011

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Smoking in restaurants should not be permitted, agree or disagree? [4]

Dear everyone,

The coming Jan 30th is the day I'm going to take the TOEFL test and I'm feeling so scared right now. Hope that you'll help me. Thanks in advance :D

Topic 1: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Smoking should not be permitted in restaurants and state laws that prohibit it should be upheld.

It is common knowledge that smoking is not good for our health. Smoking does bad not only to the smokers but also to those who breathe the cigarette smoke in. The questions of whether smoking should not be permitted in restaurants and state laws that prohibit it have recently been aroused. Personally, I strongly agree with this idea due to its benefit that it would bring to the society.

First of all, prohibiting cigarettes in restaurant will definitely protect everyone's health. Restaurant is a public place where people come to have good meals and relax. Just one person smoking would destroy all those purposes. Smoke from a cigarette is very light and easy to spread in a large square. Eventually, eating with smoke floating midair all around is obviously not comfortable experience. It is known that the smoker breathe into his lungs a lot of poisonous molecules along with smoke from the cigarette. Moreover, recent researches have also pointed out that people around also suffer as much as the smoker himself. There could be persons who are allergic to cigarette smoke accidentally breathe it in, which would leads to unexpected consequences. Once there is a smoker in the restaurant, the customers surrounding also bear the risk.

Secondly, restaurants can avoid several unnecessary risks by not allowing smoking. With those who hate or get allergic to smoke, having meals in the fog of smoke from the next table is such a disaster. In order not to come across that unpleasant situation, many customers prefer non-smoking restaurants, which means restaurant which allows smoking loose such an amount of potential customers. However, some restaurants find a way to satisfy both kinds of customers by locating a separated area for smoking. Yet this solution costs the restaurant owner a bill. It is not to mention the restaurant has to invest more in the air conditioner system to lessen the smell and the poisonous substances of smoking.

In conclusion, for the reasons stated above, I strongly believe that smoking should be completely banned in every restaurant. I also think smokers should respect this policy not only to obey the law but also to set good example for the younger generation.

P/S: I wrote this writing a quite long time ago and when reading it again I felt very stupid.