ParedesME
Jan 18, 2011
Writing Feedback / Why is my MOM my hero -opinion proof paragraph (reasons, examples) [4]
why he/she is your hero -opinion proof paragraph (i dont want it to look like my mom has been holding my hand in everything i do! My mom has always been pushing me without most of her help. I don't want it to look like a i am spoiled or something)
Reasons #1 2 examples
Reason # 2 2examples
Reason # 3 2 exapmes
Conclution ->Restate into
Reason 1:
Since I was born my mom had thought of better ways of education
Example: when I was born my mom thought that peru was not the best place to get a good education and thrive so she decided to take me to united states with my dad
Example 2: When I was in 1st grade she helped me learn more english but she knew almost none
Reason 2:
My mom gave everything up when I was born
Example: she gave up her teacher degree in peru.
Example 2: She left her mom and dad in peru and her sisters just for a better place for me, my dad and her self
Reason 3
Everyday my mom would cook food thats nutritional for us.
Example: Example: When I come home she is be that I am back from school and me and her would decide what too cook
Examples 2: She and I would cook together
PPLLZZ tell me if i should fix something here.
Essay
My mom is everything, she's smart, she's caring but most she is a courageous mother to me that why she is my hero. Since I was born my parents had lived in peru. My mother had always thought I needed a better education. So my mom and my dad decided its best if we were to go to United States. They were going to give up so much for me. My dad had to give up being with his family but partially not able to see his Mom and Dad, my mom gave up her job as a teacher and a job at the peruvian government but was now going to give up everything for me.
When I was born my mom had always thought of a better education for me. Since my parents decided to bring me here to United States I had to survive a harsh but good 1st grade year. I did not know any English. The Worst Part was when I had to had my own translator at my school. It was hard but my mom had hired someone to help me learn more english she tried to help me but she knew very little english. She wants me to thrive, succeed, get into a great school,University and College.
My Mom gave up everything in Peru, she had gave up her job, her friends, her family and was now going to face a world she's never been before. She didn't need to take me to United States but she did it for love. Thats what moms do, they want there child to get even better education and a better life. My parents brought me here because they love me and want me to have a better life then they had.
Although I have a great education she sometime worries for my dad and my health. We worry for her health too she's fragile. She cooks for us but I mainly help her cook dinner. I would sometimes cook her favorite soup and she would be so happy. She worries for our nutrition, but doesn't every mom too care for daughter/son nutrition?
Now that I have grown up in a American Life, I have gained more knowledge of America. I am now Bilingual in English and Spanish. My life has been a real roller coaster ride. I now live with better opportunities and have a better life than what my parents had I really have to thank my mom for bringing me hear and giving me a push everyday to become better than I already am. Thats why my mom is my Hero.
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see any spelling mistake i have and tell me if i should change something, like i said i dont want it too look like i am spoiled or something ( my teacher thinks that my mom does everything for me and that i am spoiled so help me)
why he/she is your hero -opinion proof paragraph (i dont want it to look like my mom has been holding my hand in everything i do! My mom has always been pushing me without most of her help. I don't want it to look like a i am spoiled or something)
Reasons #1 2 examples
Reason # 2 2examples
Reason # 3 2 exapmes
Conclution ->Restate into
Reason 1:
Since I was born my mom had thought of better ways of education
Example: when I was born my mom thought that peru was not the best place to get a good education and thrive so she decided to take me to united states with my dad
Example 2: When I was in 1st grade she helped me learn more english but she knew almost none
Reason 2:
My mom gave everything up when I was born
Example: she gave up her teacher degree in peru.
Example 2: She left her mom and dad in peru and her sisters just for a better place for me, my dad and her self
Reason 3
Everyday my mom would cook food thats nutritional for us.
Example: Example: When I come home she is be that I am back from school and me and her would decide what too cook
Examples 2: She and I would cook together
PPLLZZ tell me if i should fix something here.
Essay
My mom is everything, she's smart, she's caring but most she is a courageous mother to me that why she is my hero. Since I was born my parents had lived in peru. My mother had always thought I needed a better education. So my mom and my dad decided its best if we were to go to United States. They were going to give up so much for me. My dad had to give up being with his family but partially not able to see his Mom and Dad, my mom gave up her job as a teacher and a job at the peruvian government but was now going to give up everything for me.
When I was born my mom had always thought of a better education for me. Since my parents decided to bring me here to United States I had to survive a harsh but good 1st grade year. I did not know any English. The Worst Part was when I had to had my own translator at my school. It was hard but my mom had hired someone to help me learn more english she tried to help me but she knew very little english. She wants me to thrive, succeed, get into a great school,University and College.
My Mom gave up everything in Peru, she had gave up her job, her friends, her family and was now going to face a world she's never been before. She didn't need to take me to United States but she did it for love. Thats what moms do, they want there child to get even better education and a better life. My parents brought me here because they love me and want me to have a better life then they had.
Although I have a great education she sometime worries for my dad and my health. We worry for her health too she's fragile. She cooks for us but I mainly help her cook dinner. I would sometimes cook her favorite soup and she would be so happy. She worries for our nutrition, but doesn't every mom too care for daughter/son nutrition?
Now that I have grown up in a American Life, I have gained more knowledge of America. I am now Bilingual in English and Spanish. My life has been a real roller coaster ride. I now live with better opportunities and have a better life than what my parents had I really have to thank my mom for bringing me hear and giving me a push everyday to become better than I already am. Thats why my mom is my Hero.
-----------------------
see any spelling mistake i have and tell me if i should change something, like i said i dont want it too look like i am spoiled or something ( my teacher thinks that my mom does everything for me and that i am spoiled so help me)
