Undergraduate / Shaping our lives - Common App personal Essay [4]

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I sometimes wonder if our lives are to be shaped by our problems and challenges, more importantly our failures. What if we realize our mistakes and wish to move on and just make things right. Everyday I wish for such an opportunity. I have spent the past three years trying to get ahead, get things in proper perspective and make my parents proud and also feel good about myself. I always wanted the good stuff but I never knew how to get it and now I'm here, it's within my reach but I just can't grasp it. My friends are where I want to be. Most times I feel left alone, down and beaten; but with my last breath I am still trying to reach for it; reach for that dream with everything I have because it's worth it. I feel like I merely exist without it.

I'm tired of people saying that I'm not good enough. I feel even worse when they use that to judge the potential success of my little sister- whom I think the world of. It makes me mad at me. I know I can be much more; there comes a time when you just get tired of being in the dirt. I just need that opening to prove myself.

Everyday, on my way to school, I come in contact with a lot of people who are dealing with a lot of issues. Most of them seem to have lost their faith in people; and I do not blame them for it, but on very rare occasions, I get to see a different side of some of these people. The person they might have been if they hadn't stop believing in themselves and in others; and it is beautiful. I wish they knew that their choices were never exhausted.

We just need a little glimpse of hope. I wish I could give them something to believe in. I don't know, but if I can't, at least let me be fulfilled with my own life, let me help someone or at least show that I can be someone and the philosophy of being who you want to be actually works and it's not just something I see on television.

Some one once told me that I should settle for less, otherwise this system will frustrate me and I'll end up being mad at everyone. These statements hurt me but I was supposed to smile in their faces because they were my counselors. I want my life to mean something; not just to me, but anyone who comes in contact with me.

I still have so much I need to learn and I'm not even sure where my life is headed but you have helped so many people find some sense of who they are because you believed in them. All I ask is for you to believe in me and I promise you from there we will make a head way.

I have been privileged to be in a position where by Gods grace, I was able to significantly help my friend achieve her goal and I know what it is like to watch someone figure out things for himself/herself and I know how it feels to be part of someone else's defining moment. It is a really great and inexpressible feeling. I sincerely just wish someone will see me, not for who I am, but for who I could be.

My essays, SAT scores, recommendations, will tell you nothing about what burns within me. But I can show you that, because it is what makes me run faster than I have ever run, reach farther than I have ever reached and dream deeper and bigger than the imaginations of men.

Thank you