Writing Feedback / "you can see the wonders" - Season of change [3]

Need feed back and help with grammar.

Babette now older, a bit wiser and more patient than four springs ago watches as the winter shrivels by and the season of spring comes into the air. She sits by the opened window every morning gazing out as she hears Maman-Nainaine rocking chair going back and forth on the creaky floor, the clicking together of her needles as she knits her never ending quilt humming a song that her grandmother sang to her mother and her mother to her.

The white snow long gone and a warm breeze blow a clean fresh air as the chills of winter is far behind them. She sees the green growth just beginning to bloom on the farm, the smell of the flowers wonderful perfume so good she could even taste it. Babette closed her eyes and started to remembering how she and her mother use to lie in the soft new blooming grass watching the butterflies fluttering around from flower to flower. She could feel that joy all over again as if time stood still and her mother was right beside her.

Babette opened her eyes and looked into the fields and saw three squirrels chasing each other up the big pine tree higher and higher, watching them until they disappeared into the giant tree. Birds chattering endlessly as they gathered their nest with twigs and leaves awaiting the new arrival of the season singing the most beautiful song as if they knew that yes, this was a season of hope.

As Babette stood up and put her face out the window and closed her eyes imagining herself as a bird set free in the sky, sailing over the trees and the mountains as the sun shined on her wings. Feeling the wind on her face, hearing it whistle in her ear and thinking "I never want to go back".

"Babette! Babette!" Babette was brought back to the real world by Maman-Nainaine shouting. "Stop day dreaming and go to the market and get me some more wool." Babette jump out of the chair and picked up the basket and raced out of the door. On her way she spotted two boys running around in their farm. Their happy voices echoed throughout the silence along the way, another man playing with his daughter as she giggled in delight. Babette let out a very light sigh and said to herself "there is nothing like seeing the flower bloom again and smell of spring".

Summer come and went like a thief in the night. Babette was glad that the summer was over; the hot blazing sun that slapped her skin was not a very pleasant experience she enjoyed.

The leaves started to change into shade of yellow orange and brown. The winds brought another kind of scent into the air, a cooler air, a sort of after rain smell. The trees move from side to side as the winds carry the wilted leaves higher in the sky as they come down dancing on the faded grass. Babette looks out the window and sees the squirrels that were playing all summer were now busy gathering their nuts getting ready for the long cold winter. She looked up in the sky and saw a flak birds all flying in the same direction and wondering to herself "where do they go all winter".

Babette sat on her chair once more staring at the pretty colors in the branches outside and smiled to herself and thinking what a natural beauty. Most people just go through the season like another harvest period but not I can see with patience you can see the wonders.

Writing Feedback / "if i hadn't gone in the basement" - the time i made a costly mistake [2]

can someone help me critique this essay. it urgent!!

The time when i made a costly mistake was one i will never forget. i was 9 and my brother was 11, we were coming home from school as always talking about our day and just out of the blue my brother suggested that when we got home we should play sword and princess. i was really excited because we haven't played that game in a while so we started running home so we wouldn't miss a second of playing. we got home and we called for our mom several times but no answer, i went upstairs to check her room but she wasn't there, coming down the stairs my brother meet me on the way and showed me the note our mother left us.i cant still remember its exact words "gone to go pick your sister and pick up some groceries, don't do anything until i get back. love mom". my brother and i were so happy that our mother left us home alone that we started running around the house, jumping on the couch and just having fun.

After a while i remembered my brothers promise to play sword and princess so i asked him when we would start our game, he slapped his head like he usually does and told me he almost forgot, so he stood up and said we should play the game upstairs, i said no that we should play the game in the basement. my brother reminded me that we weren't allowed in the basement without supervision but i ignored him and run to the basement and he followed me too.We got down to the basement and started to play forgetting about all the trouble we could get into for just being down there. thirty minutes passed and my brother told me it was time to go back upstairs, sadly i agreed but i asked to do one thing for me. in our basement theres a little long hook that hangs from the ceiling and the week before that i hung one of my stuffed bears on the hook, so i asked him to get it for me. as he stood on the chair and got it for me, but before he could give it to me he slipped and his eye lid got hooked on the iron hanger. with fear in my eyes i watch him as he tried to unhook his eye lid from the hanger. i don't remember most of what happened after that but my mother told me that i was sitting on the floor with blood everywhere and on my clothes and my brother with a paper towel on his face soaked with blood.

For a 9 year old til this day i kept thinking if i hadn't gone in the basement,if i hadn't hung my stuffed bear on the wire, if i hadn't ask my brother to get it for me, if i hadn't made those mistakes my bother would have been completely blind in his left eye.