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Posts by minnamiue
Joined: Feb 25, 2011
Last Post: Mar 1, 2011
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minnamiue   
Feb 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / China, TOEFL-iBT integrated writing- Macro Polo [5]

Thanks for your friendly replying.

About your first comment, sorry I failed to tell deeply about the TOEFL integrated writing. It is a test examining your ability of paraphrase. As a result, testers are first asked to read an article about a specific topic. Then, listen to a lecture reacting to the same topic, but the lecture usually holds the opposite position against author's opinion. Testers' roles are to paraphrase what you have heard and compare lecturer's reasons for supporting his opinion to those aspects stated in the article. Therefore, under such background, is my first paragraph suitable? THX!!!
minnamiue   
Feb 25, 2011
Writing Feedback / China, TOEFL-iBT integrated writing- Macro Polo [5]

Below is an article relating to toefl integrated writing, could someone help me to fix it up and tell me about what you think about? THX!!!

In reaction to the issue whether Marco Polo had traveled to China or not, the professor of the article is of the opinion that actually he did not visit China by offering clues involving three aspects- Mongolian place-names, Chinese culture and ancient recordings. However, such facets are now being challenged by the lecturer, who deeply believes that the opposite is true.

First of all, the lecturer argues that even though Marco Polo, who supposed to live in China for seventeen years, failed to pick up any Chinese name, and besides in his well known book- The Travels of Marco Polo, the name of locations and directions were written in Persian, these evidence are not strong enough to belie the fact that he had been to China. After all, Persian was universal trade language used between Asia and Europe at that time. Thus, it is totally reasonable to borrow Chinese place-names from the Persian source.

Moreover, the lecturer also claims that the prosperity of Chinese tea culture were pervasive mainly in southern China, but not in northern part, the place where Marco Polo stayed for most of his time. Therefore, it is understandable why he did not mention such prosperous phenomena in his book.

Finally, consider the doubt why the name Marco Polo did not exist in Chinese documents, as the professor states. It is possible that the name was referred to a distinct form that historians have difficulties to decipher. It is also likely that the real name was not allowed to be used in official records. Or even simply because documents describing the story of Macro Polo were lost, hence no evidence exists to bear this out.
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