Writing Feedback / IELTS: mixed nationalities and cultures promote countries develop more quickly [5]

Countries are much more interesting and develop more quickly when the population includes a mixture of different nationalities and cultures, to what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is not uncommon that a country with missed nationalities and cultures developed so much in recent years. However, as far as I am concerned, it still accompany with some problems.

Admittedly, a multi-cultured country attracts increasingly more people all over the world as individuals, out of curiosity, are fond of experiencing different cultures. Due to the availability of a wider array of entertainment, abundant tourist attractions could be the driving force of tourist development, which will boost the local economy to certain extent.

On the other hand, countries with the population include different nationalities and cultures may not be stimulating and developed. People from different countries have their own opinion towards values. Accordingly, they may not understand others behaviour which could be regard as the barrier for communication among various cultures. If not deal with an appropriate means, it may cause ethnic conflicts. Even worse, in some countries, it is not common that some people discriminate against the minority groups. For instance, mass media have revealed an Indian boy was attacked by a gang of people in Melbourne with no reason. Thus, I believe no one will find the country is interesting and go to a unstable country with potential dangers.

Clearly, it is the trend people from different countries living together; therefore my suggestion is government should give priority to facilitation of the cultural communication and mutual trust to promote the development of the state as a whole.

is it coherence and logical?
thank you for your time and really appreciate it.