Writing Feedback / [IELTS Practice] My attempt on Creative Artists [4]

Question: Creative artists should be given freedom to express their ideas (words, pictures, music and films. However some people think government should take some restriction with them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give your reasons with own knowledge and give examples.

My answer:

Innovative artists bring enjoyment and inspiration to our sometimes tedious life; however, some people deem that artists have been entrusted with too much freedom and power and should be restricted by the government. It is my personal belief that freedom of expressing thoughts and ideas should always be eulogized and it's rather iniquitous to impose a shackle on artists' will to create.

One of the major concerns against freeing artists' creation derives from the fear of social misleading which would destabilize the society; however, I believe the audiences have their own judgement and are not likely to be misled or influenced by some art work. It is needless to say that art inevitably involves imagination, exaggeration and sometimes is purely fabricated; regardless of whether the work of art is based on truth or not, it is the public's authority to determine how to interpret its meaning. If the art displays unreality, the public audiences certainly have the acumen to recognise its untruthfulness and only appreciate its art value; if the art reflects the reality, then what would be the intention to ban it if it was not for covering the dirty truth? Would it be autocratic if the government clamp down the artists who are telling the truth? In a word, the notion of being afraid of social misleading is unjustified.

Let's then take a look at the impact that art has posed on individuals. It is undeniable that some of the art work may contain negative implications such as insanity, violence, eroticism etc. I absolutely agree that restrictions on exposure to adolescents should apply as adolescents are not mature enough to avoid being led astray by these contents; however, in the case of adults being the audience, there's really nothing to hide - these negative things objectively exist on this planet and it is impossible for adults to be brain-washed only because of some pieces of creative art.

By way of conclusion, I do not root for the idea that restrictions should be put on artists work; on the contrary, they should be encouraged to express their innovative ideas - this world needs them to make itself colourful.

Thank you for reviewing. This forum is so cool.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay Practice: People spend more and more time at their work place [8]

Question: People spend more and more time at their work place and don't spend enough time with family and friends. Why is this happening? What consequences can this have for the family life and society?

My answer:

In the contemporary society, more and more people are drowning in office's hustle and bustle, pursuing their shimmering and sometimes illusional goals, unable to withdraw themselves from the predicament that less and less time is spent together with their families and friends.

There are variety of reasons why people are doing so; some work overtime voluntarily while some are compelled by external forces such as senior staffs and mandatory sales target. Nonetheless, behind the both cases, there is one common account which is people's hot pursuit of material possession, which is to a large extent proportional to prestige and social status. Human's society is saturated with competition, as the total resource is limited and the allocation of these resources to individuals largely depends on how hard you try, and how many opportunities you are able to seize. Consequentially, more people choose to give up their leisure time, which would have been shared with families and friends, for striving in the illuminated office with a cup of coffee.

However, by sacrificing their personal time, some people eventually succeeded. They have scrambled to the pinnacle of their career, sitting on the hill of gold and trophies, only to find no one is willing to share the moment with them - they are all alone. "What happened?" they look down the path and ask themselves.

What happened is that they didn't grasp the balance between life and work. So mercenary they have become that they choose money, prestige and authority over their families and friends, unable to rein in their step towards the cliff of being alienated. Their family is teetering on the brink of being broken and their friends are no longer sincere and hearty; instead of being fruitful as anticipated, their life ends up being mired in the whirlpool of endless loneliness.

Besides the detrimental impact on personal life, this situation also jeopardises the whole society by enlarging the gap between individuals and compelling the society into a vicious cycle - seeing the benefit others receive from working overtime, more and more people follow onto the path and never be able to rein back; hence the plight of social alienation is exacerbated.

Life is not all about achieving and accomplishing; it's probably the time for some people to take a pause and share some quality time with their friends and families.

Thank you!