rafihoq
Apr 23, 2011
Undergraduate / "a transient lifestyle" - My Cornell summer Application Statements [3]
I'm a junior applying for Cornell's summer program. I've already written my statement, and would appreciate any feedback/criticizing.
To be more specific, I feel that my introduction sounds a bit akward.. thoughts?
a.) Briefly list your three most significant interests and activities, including any employment or volunteer work experience.
b.) Note the time you devote to each activity, during which grades you participated, and your main responsibilities.
c.) Describe why one of these interests or activities is important to you, your reasons for becoming involved in it, and your related accomplishments.
( I didnt include my responses for a and b, as they arent really essays, its just for reference. if you do want to see them, feel free to tell me.)
c.) It's quite baffling; I seem to be at a loss of words when I face the question of what
boxing means to me, such tremendously influential part of who I am, and I can't even put it into words. Perhaps I can better explain with an account of my past.
Being born and raised in Virginia, I've always led a transient lifestyle because of my
father's business. When I moved to Canada, I went through four different schools and
three different homes. It was there that I was introduced to boxing, an adventitious event,
the significance of which I didn't yet realize. In moving back to Virginia for high school,
I'm unfortunately in the same situation today, having already attended three different
schools in the past three years, although still active in boxing. Such a transitory lifestyle,
if anything, has always given me a certain disconnection from school and life in general,
and if it were not for boxing, I would just be another kid without direction. This sport has
given me a sense of purpose, a sense of being. It embodies who I am, resonating
throughout my character, my values and especially my precepts. I've learned how to be in
equanimity, both in and outside of the ring. I've learned how life, like boxing, is unfair.
But I always know where I stand. To date, my greatest achievement is the 2nd place to
the title in a conference. Although not particularly meritorious, I now have a clear vision
of my goals. More importantly, the most significant way I've been affected by this sport
is burning desire I now have inside me to pursue perfection in all aspects in my life, not
only in the ring, but in education as well. I have a newfound thirst for knowledge that is
incomparable to everything else, and has propelled me to take advantage of every
opportunity. As clichéd as it sounds, boxing is my savior, for I can't even begin to
contemplate where I'd be without this sport in my life. I don't even think I've fully
comprehended what it has already done.
I'm a junior applying for Cornell's summer program. I've already written my statement, and would appreciate any feedback/criticizing.
To be more specific, I feel that my introduction sounds a bit akward.. thoughts?
a.) Briefly list your three most significant interests and activities, including any employment or volunteer work experience.
b.) Note the time you devote to each activity, during which grades you participated, and your main responsibilities.
c.) Describe why one of these interests or activities is important to you, your reasons for becoming involved in it, and your related accomplishments.
( I didnt include my responses for a and b, as they arent really essays, its just for reference. if you do want to see them, feel free to tell me.)
c.) It's quite baffling; I seem to be at a loss of words when I face the question of what
boxing means to me, such tremendously influential part of who I am, and I can't even put it into words. Perhaps I can better explain with an account of my past.
Being born and raised in Virginia, I've always led a transient lifestyle because of my
father's business. When I moved to Canada, I went through four different schools and
three different homes. It was there that I was introduced to boxing, an adventitious event,
the significance of which I didn't yet realize. In moving back to Virginia for high school,
I'm unfortunately in the same situation today, having already attended three different
schools in the past three years, although still active in boxing. Such a transitory lifestyle,
if anything, has always given me a certain disconnection from school and life in general,
and if it were not for boxing, I would just be another kid without direction. This sport has
given me a sense of purpose, a sense of being. It embodies who I am, resonating
throughout my character, my values and especially my precepts. I've learned how to be in
equanimity, both in and outside of the ring. I've learned how life, like boxing, is unfair.
But I always know where I stand. To date, my greatest achievement is the 2nd place to
the title in a conference. Although not particularly meritorious, I now have a clear vision
of my goals. More importantly, the most significant way I've been affected by this sport
is burning desire I now have inside me to pursue perfection in all aspects in my life, not
only in the ring, but in education as well. I have a newfound thirst for knowledge that is
incomparable to everything else, and has propelled me to take advantage of every
opportunity. As clichéd as it sounds, boxing is my savior, for I can't even begin to
contemplate where I'd be without this sport in my life. I don't even think I've fully
comprehended what it has already done.