Posts by asdfghjkl

asdfghjkl

Oct 9, 2008

Writing Feedback / The biggest change in my life - Narrative introduction help [5]

After some revisions its here... Any suggestions now?

When I moved from Wisconsin to Illinois, my life changed in ways that I could not predict. I learned a lot of things, what financial security means, how to budget money, and that I absolutely hate moving. I changed the way I looked at life altogether. The biggest change was going from my lazy, do nothing lifestyle which I enjoyed so much, to working and going to college. We moved because we had no choice, the house had been foreclosed on.

asdfghjkl

Oct 9, 2008

Writing Feedback / The biggest change in my life - Narrative introduction help [5]

So for my first collage paper I have to write about the biggest change in my life. This is also the first paper I've written since middle school since my high school didn't do essays(yeah it really didn't). Anyway so critique this and give any advice. thanks

Nothing lasts, neither good or bad though bad things tend to stand out and feel like they'll never go away. But they do, eventually if your feeling awful you'll either get better someday or die, and if your feeling great you'll come down sooner or later. Things always change, I never liked change, I was scared of it I suppose, so I never went looking for it. But change always finds you, and the longer you wait the worse the change is going to be. The biggest change that happened to me was like a chain reaction, that seemed to go on for ever. This is about moving from Wisconsin to Illinois, and all the events that led up to it.