Undergraduate / "a creative work that has had an influence on you" (Eve Ensler) Common App [3]

Prompt: a creative work that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.
I dont know what to change or add. I only have 500 words, but I feel like its a little bland right now. Any tips?

Eve Ensler
"I think the act of pleasing makes everything murky. We lose track of ourselves. We stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives." This statement from Eve Ensler's novel I am an Emotional Creature shaped my general outlook on life. Ensler's collection of books has inspired me to accept all of myself, the good and the bad, and to create my own liberating path in life.

Society's unwritten rules steal our freedom, and the people who are brave enough to be themselves are dismissed. I am an Emotional Creature motivated me to fight for all that I feel strongly about, and I started off by signing up for the Gay-Straight Alliance Club. It was liberating to disregard the status quo and I took pride in my newfound courage. I did not take off my rainbow LGBT pin when my religious peers scoffed at me. I stood up for one of my gay friends when he scorned by the wrestling coach for his sexuality. I was making changes. Carrying on with this outlook, I joined Best Buddies, a club in which the members are paired with mentally disabled teenagers. Our most proud moment was our "R" word movement. The word "retarded" now has a negative connotation and it was our mission to keep it off campus. Although banning a word is nearly impossible, it was the meaning behind the protest and the memories that were created that we will always remember. This process of understanding and embracing others led me to figuring out who I am as a person.

After reading The Vagina Monologues and The Good Body, I had this sense of empowerment and "I am woman hear me roar" type of mindset. These two books helped me realize that there is too much time spent focusing on our flaws, and so came about the Tyra Banks Club. I created this club to teach teenagers at my school to learn to love themselves for who they are. We had regular photo shoots and encouraged each other to accept our unconventional beauty. Some people laughed and criticized, but this club meant the world to the girls participating. At this time, Tyra Banks was celebrating the evolution of women and invited people who share this passion to appear on her show, including my friend and me for our work with the club. Who was taping her episode the same day we were filming ours? Eve Ensler. There, in that moment, my updated outlook and lifestyle came to a full circle.

Eve Ensler created a revolution within me. A series of epiphanies-and a little bit of frustration-was the root of the creation of my journey. I will not accept the unwritten rules or sacrifice my wants and beliefs for the sake of pleasing others. I have a fire inside me that screams to rebel against the ordinary, to make a difference, to challenge the world. This is my life, this is my monologue, embrace it.

Undergraduate / "Koffee Klatch"-personal quality essay [4]

I still have to write a conclusion...any ideas?

Becoming completely engrossed in my rendezvous with Mr. Jay Gatsby, I barely heard the man next to me casually mutter, "great book". Reluctantly, and somewhat awkwardly, I gave in to the next few minutes of small talk about our favorite and not-so-favorite novels. He continued to ramble on about the weather and God knows what, while I became lost in my own mind. I looked around the coffee shop, taking notice of the beautiful silks of reds and oranges and the familiar smell of warm apple cider. Glancing down at my peppermint tea, I realized that the steam had ceased to rise and it was the perfect luke-warm temperature by now. Bringing myself back to my stranger, I watched his small mouth form unknown words and his hands play with his corny looking glasses.

"I come to Koffee Klatch all the time because I'm in a rehab center a couple blocks away", he said, now gaining my full attention. I was taken aback and confused as to why this man would tell me this. I was raised by a family of introverts, where giving out personal information, especially to strangers, was a rarity. I'm easily the most outgoing family member, but even a conversation like this would have usually made me uncomfortable. Now recognizing that I was wholly listening, he dove deeper into his life story. I watched as he revealed his break up with his ex fiancé, his rebound relationship with alcohol, and his feelings of hatred towards all women. I was hooked. Listening to him was like reading that book that is absolutely impossible to put down. I memorized his every detail, expressive hand movement, and all-telling facial expression. I was on a high of curiosity, grasping every word and devouring it. I saw the loneliness that plagued every part of his body, and began to feel his hurt, his pain, his suffering. By the end of his story, I felt like I had experienced heat break, substance abuse issues, and isolation. This one conversation gave me the ability to mentally travel through, what seemed like, another world.

He used his story to gently lift my chin and open my eyes to see all that I could learn from my surroundings. I have realized that we all tend to resort back to our unfortunate childhood habit of not sharing. Every person has at least one spout of wisdom in them, gathered from a personal experience or two, which is kept as a secret from the world. Since my "coffee shop epiphany" I have stopped relying on books to teach me, and started to use the people of our world as a resource. I've learned about taxes from a man who only writes with blue pens. I've learned about the 50's from a homeless man who mentally still lives there. I've learned about how our minds tick from a psychiatrist eager to tell. I've read incredible books recommended by a local boy who only reads others' favorite novels. I've learned about love from a newlywed Argentinean woman. I've learned to discover.