Writing Feedback / SAT Writing Practice: Do we benefit from learning about the flaws of people we admire [4]

Hi everyone,

I am practicing writing for the coming SAT in June. Please help me to leave some comments so that I can improve my essay. Thank you very much!

Prompt 1:

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

The discovery that someone we admire has done something wrong is always disappointing and disillusioning. Yet even when people we consider heroes have been tarnished by their faults, they are no less valuable than people who appear perfect. When we learn that an admired person, even one who is seemingly perfect, has behaved in less than admirable ways, we discover a complex truth: great ideas and great deeds come from imperfect people like ourselves.

Assignment:

Do we benefit from learning about the flaws of people we admire and respect? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Answer:

When we were young, we usually had at least one hero or idol that we respected and admired the most. As we grew up, we learned about the flaws of those people and usually we felt disappointed. However, at that time, we didn't know that learning about the imperfections of those we admire and respect would be beneficial a lot to our lives.

"Monkeys see, monkeys do". Humans need other humans to look up to, to admire and act as role models for our own behavior. Sometimes when we find out this person is not perfect it helps us to understand that they are just human too and that everyone makes mistakes. It could help us to accept our own flaws and weaknesses and then learn meaningful lessons from mistakes of our heroes or idols.

An example might be found at Barack Obama and his Economic Stimulus package. In late 2008, America economy had felt into Depression again after such a long time from the Great Depression in 1940s. However, this time, Barack Obama, the newly 44th elected president of America, had the benefit to learn from Franklin Roosevelt, one of the greatest American presidents that had helped American economy recover and reform from the Great Depression. With reference to New Deal, a complex, interlocking set of programs designed to recovery and reform the economy of Franklin Roosevelt, Barack Obama has launched Stimulus package, an $800 billion aid that aimed to help the economy stabilize, with the hope that America can recover as quickly as what happened during the time of Franklin Roosevelt, whom Barack Obama admired.

Currently, HIV is referred as the biggest disease of the world and a lot of people think HIV patients are evil and horrible. This should not be the case for Magic Johnson, an American famous basketball player. In 1991, Magic Johnson announced that he had HIV and a great number of his fans were shocked and disappointed. Even though to acquire HIV disease is not a proper behavior, Magic Johnson still deserved applause for admitting his mistake courageously and standing up to stop many people from committing the same mistakes that he and other famous athletes have committed. For the entire of his life, Magic Johnson has used his individual mistake to educate many people from not making the same mistake as he did.

Another example of people benefiting from their idols' flaws can be seen in the current Libya Revolution. Recently, several number of democratic revolutions has occurred in Egypt, Tunisia, etc.. With the support of people from overseas as well as references to some leading rebellions, Libyan people knew that they were able to rebel against their dictator Muammar Gaddafi and fight for their democracies. Now, when people are still not sure when the Libyan Revolution is going to the end, it is undeniable that Libyan people had benefited from previous successful revolutions in neighborhood countries.

In conclusion, it is not necessary that one should feel depressed or upset when he figures out his heroes or idols' mistakes. Through previous examples have been shown, it's undoubted that knowing the flaws of those you admire and respect will certainly do benefit you if you choose to accept the mistake and know what they should not have done.