Posts by etruffle

etruffle

May 28, 2011

Writing Feedback / story based on the painting Scream [10]

Haha thank you ef Kevin for your feedback I am flattered.
I still have about a page and a half more to write and I am stuck on whats I should write about next. I obviously have to explain what she makes me do etc. I just do not want to drag it on.

A problem with me is I try to be original with my plots and I tend to run myself into a wall.
Do you have any tips on how I should finish it. I have a few ideas but any feedback is greatly appreciated.

etruffle

May 25, 2011

Writing Feedback / story based on the painting Scream [10]

i have recently been writing this essay but i am stuck on what to write next
i would really appreciate any feed back thanks

I have an evil twin. Most people would laugh. I understand. Its a funny concept. They make sitcoms and really bad horror movies out if the idea; an evil twin and hilarity ensues.

Bit isn't funny. It's real. I have done my best to suppress her but her taint demonic influence has grown with me. Sixty four years it has taken me to accept you're on your own in life. Alone with your twins depravity.

It's difficult because my evil twin has rarely been seen by human eyes. She is illusive, cunning and dangerous. My family doesn't know of her. Few friends know about her. But everyone has experienced her. She is a master of disguise, taking on many forms. She decieves those around her as she slowly drains the humane life out of me. The scary part is that i think she's the real me and i'm the imposter.

My collection of ancient photographs are some what tired, wrinkled and stained. My grubby fingerprints mark those most embraced. Often i look for her or any evidence that she exists. Once in a while i find her leering through familiar quizzical blue eyes, innocent let full of unrealised malice.

etruffle

May 17, 2011

Writing Feedback / story based on the painting Scream [10]

I'm sorry you don't understand the first part is not in the essay. I am just informing you what i am writing about for whoever replies can understand, sorry if i didn't make that clear.

thank you very much for the notes any way

This part is the essay:

*Scrambling through the shadows, choking on silent screams, she whispers to me. Echoing afflicting words which trigger the memory of that night.
I'm back there. Hells blazing colours ignite the sky above exposing every hidden shadow.*

i have to write so much more i know but i have been caught up writing this other essay
i would really appreciate it if you read through this thanks :)

etruffle

May 15, 2011

Writing Feedback / story based on the painting Scream [10]

I'm getting close to my GCSE's and my essay writing really isn't up to the best standard. My teacher is pretty hopeless and treats me like i'm imbecile whenever i ask questions. I would really appreciate any help or editing because theres only so much you can get from a book,

i would really appreciate any feedback as i am pretty desperate my exams are less than a month away.
i was given the ensignment to write a descriptive story on the painting scream
This is the basis of what ive come up with(please dont laugh its quite bad )

i am having a nightmare remembering the night my best friend died. We met up with these guys she met the other day who invited her to come down to the dock. My friend is gonna be quite an airhead so she thought it would be fun and managed to get me to come with her. the guys were doing the usual of smoking etc. and my friend joined in to be 'cool'. i wasnt keen and wanted to go. the guys brought us to a warehouse and a fire accidently started. me and my friend run for it down the docks and we hear the police sirens men are chasing us and my friend accidently knocks a heavy container which forces her into the water were she drowns Etc..

this is as much as i've got, dont hesitate to edit anything

Scrambling through the shadows, choking on silent screams, she whispers to me. Echoing afflicting words which trigger the memory of that night.
I'm back there. Hells blazing colours ignite the sky above exposing every hidden shadow.