eLearner
Jun 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / "people want to educate" - attending college or university for many different reasons [NEW]
Hi all,
I am preparing for TOEFL exam, and this is my first writing. Please rate it and point out mistakes so i can improve my skills. if you have any link that could be helpful for me, please share.
Topic:
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer..
Writing:
Education plays an important role in the development of the society. People have some goals that defines the purpose of their life, and education is the door to achieve these goals. I believe people attend educational institutions to enhance their knowledge, to pursue a better future, to meet new people.
People study in the college or university to seek knowledge. Everyone wants to be a master of his field or subject, and to be a master one must have in-depth knowledge of his it. For example if you want to be a computer expert, you must have in-depth knowledge of it.
One of the reason that makes the people go college or university is to get a better future or in other words a prosperous career. They want to grow professionally as well as financially so that they can live and provide better life to themselves and their family. For an instance, a Person holding a Bachelor degree does master to get promotion.
Some people like to meet new people, and educational institution is the best place to experience it. They find it interesting to know others culture, their moral values, their way of living. They like to be social, and it helps them to improve their soft skills.
To sum up, whether the reason of attending college or university is increased knowledge, promising career or new experience, people want to educate themselves so that they can improve their lives. They want to get success and education is the key to it.
Hi all,
I am preparing for TOEFL exam, and this is my first writing. Please rate it and point out mistakes so i can improve my skills. if you have any link that could be helpful for me, please share.
Topic:
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer..
Writing:
Education plays an important role in the development of the society. People have some goals that defines the purpose of their life, and education is the door to achieve these goals. I believe people attend educational institutions to enhance their knowledge, to pursue a better future, to meet new people.
People study in the college or university to seek knowledge. Everyone wants to be a master of his field or subject, and to be a master one must have in-depth knowledge of his it. For example if you want to be a computer expert, you must have in-depth knowledge of it.
One of the reason that makes the people go college or university is to get a better future or in other words a prosperous career. They want to grow professionally as well as financially so that they can live and provide better life to themselves and their family. For an instance, a Person holding a Bachelor degree does master to get promotion.
Some people like to meet new people, and educational institution is the best place to experience it. They find it interesting to know others culture, their moral values, their way of living. They like to be social, and it helps them to improve their soft skills.
To sum up, whether the reason of attending college or university is increased knowledge, promising career or new experience, people want to educate themselves so that they can improve their lives. They want to get success and education is the key to it.